Work-in-Progress

Birthday and Donuts

2011-10-16T11:52:00.001-04:00

Cole, my big kid and old soul, turns 8 today. I've gotten more hugs in the last 8 years than all the other years of my life combined. He is a kind, creative, generous kid, and I'm so lucky to be his mom.

He asked for a donut maker for his birthday so he could start his own business like Peace, Love and Little Donuts that we had found in Pittsburgh. Those sweet little treats were the spark for a conversation that followed us all the way back to Virginia. During the ride home, Cole assigned me and Tony with marketing tasks while he worked on his business plan and flavor ideas. We talked about how to set prices and what kind of budget he would need to get started. He wants to sell his creations at the farmers market next season, and Joy wants to eat them.

Cole drew a series of donut characters when we got home, and Tony used them as the basis for logo designs this week. I ordered a rubber stamp for use on paper bags and napkins, put together an apron and tote bag with t-shirt transfers, and set up the Facebook page (please like Happy Day Donuts!). We presented Cole with his gifts this morning and a $25 gift card to Wegmans as seed money for ingredients.

It was way more fun to put this together for Cole than buy a bunch of plastic toys that will be quickly forgotten. I'd like to think he'll remember his silly parents fondly when he looks back on his 8th birthday.

Are we nuts to encourage him this way? Absolutely! Do-Nuts!

Chompers and Gaps

2011-09-16T17:43:00.000-04:00

The gap on the top row grew wider this week. During the chaos of our typical morning before school, Cole calls out "Mommy we've got a problem!". He smiles and his tooth is turned 90 degrees, completely sideways, in his mouth. We've got to leave in less than 10 minutes.

I scrub up, and Cole's already changed his mind. He says that he's fixed it. The tooth is turned back to its starting position but dangling lower than the rest of the row. It's ridiculous. We both laugh. I grab his tooth while he's still in mid-laugh and say "Ready?". I give a firm tug and feel that weird suction and scraping sensation almost as if the tooth were in my own mouth--it's out before Cole can answer my question, but he does anyway. "No."

NYC

2011-09-11T01:01:00.000-04:00

I'm on quick trip through NJ, and early Saturday morning, I glimpsed the city aglow with the sunrise.

As a kid, I remember trips down the turnpike watching the planes at Newark airport scream over the highway, so close I would cover my head, and watching the Empire State Building and the Twin Towers bob along the skyline behind the palisades. I still look.

Aromatherapy

2011-09-08T14:31:00.000-04:00

Most days I work out stress at the gym, but this morning I baked it out. It's a delicate balance.

Hibachi

2011-09-07T09:20:00.000-04:00

Sunday afternoon was spent in NoVA at Paper Source, shopping for papers for Danielle's baby shower invitations. The family was coerced into coming along by the promise of hibachi and Milwaukee's Frozen Custard.

The kids were excited by my description of the hibachi table, and I hoped it would be enough for them to try the food. If nothing else, they love sticky white rice, and I had the frozen custard to use as leverage. Tony was pessimistic, even saying, "Just remember this was Mom's idea, not mine."

Cole cringed at the soup, and it required my pleading to get him to try a small sip. But when the cooking started, he couldn't wait to eat because he said it smelled so delicious. He ate fried rice, noodles, carrots, and chicken, and then said he'd like to go back for his birthday. Joy kept to the white rice but had a lot of fun. Tony was just happy that everyone earned custard. It was peanut butter brownie night.

Bird Shelter

2011-09-07T09:08:00.000-04:00

If you see someone snapping photos with their phone in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of a rain storm, she might not be crazy.

It could be she was struck by how all the little birds were huddling along the grocery carts, and she has a very neglected blog, a resolution to take more photos, and a predisposition to embrace the rain. She might still be crazy in your book, but in mine, she's writing her own story.

sketches

2011-09-02T11:46:00.000-04:00

A t-shirt? A small print? For right now, it's a start.

Kittenhead

2011-09-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

My sixteen year old kitten is slowing down but still as sweet as ever.

Not a Cloud in the Sky

2011-08-31T12:11:00.001-04:00

Not such a little girl

2011-08-30T09:17:00.001-04:00

Joy's second day of kindergarten is adorned with a new hair barrette and shiny gold earrings.

The Year of the Book

2010-12-27T20:49:00.000-05:00

I've been reading steadily for the last 18 months, and it's one resolution I am very glad to have kept. I loved to read as a kid, but I gave up reading for fun in college because I had a concentration in literature. Ironic, huh?

Tony doesn't read because it puts him to sleep. Luckily Cole has inherited my reading gene, and I had the pleasure of sharing one of my old paperbacks with him. We read The Mouse and the Motorcycle together around Thanksgiving, and phrases like chromium tailpipes and aspirin tablets were added to his vocabulary. Cole is sharing books with me too. Together we read Who was Jim Henson? one in a series of biographies for kids. I was impressed with the depth of the biography, and we both learned a few new things about Cole's namesake.

I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice and it's first time I've read Jane Austen. As a designer, I'll admit that I picked it up because of the beautiful covers by fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo. The language requires some patience, in the same way that reading Shakespeare does, but it's well worth the effort. Exhaustingly descriptive, the dialogue keeps the story and its cast lively and relevant. Maybe I'll try the Zombie version soon?

politics

2010-11-02T23:59:00.000-04:00

So I've been feeling all peace and love and "can't we all get along" lately at least when I compare my disposition to the most vocal personalities in politics right now. Yes, I went to the Jon Stewart rally (or at least as close I could get to it anyway), and I'll tell you why. To me it represented something positive, a different way of engaging people in a discussion of politics, that doesn't mean resorting to painting the opposing view as crazy, evil, or representing Armageddon. Those are powerful words that should be saved for the truly crazy, evil, and Armageddonish.

I'm guilty of it too. I am liberal, though I have voted for Republicans, Democrats, and Independents (Tea Party you are on your own.) It's easy when you are in the company of like-minded people to paint the opposition with the broad brush of dangerous, but it sucks when it happens to you.

I am a Mets fan and those of you in the tri-state area already know where this is going. I have friends (even relatives!) that are Yankee fans, but we rarely talk baseball unless it's to get in a good-natured jab, but only occasionally. We remain friends despite the strong difference in opinions because we have so much more in common, although we'll never go to a game together.

Now I don't intend to trivialize the direction of the country and politics by comparing it to sports. But I do think the same guidelines could apply. Why can't we agree to disagree on some topics and strengthen relationships through our common ground? There's got to be something almost everyone can agree upon? Like how this is an amazing country and it's so damn easy to vote that too many of us take it for granted, and a guy getting hit in the groin with a football is always funny.

I also have friends with different political views, but I'll admit that most of these friendships were formed before we had strong political opinions. Of my more recent friends, we are generally more like-minded, and I think there's a reason for that. And that reason is at the heart of our nation's political climate. We need to be able to talk to people we don't agree with, and even more than that, listen to each other.

Virginia Senator Mark Warner recently addressed the Virginia Chamber of Commerce, "I often tell people that, if you watch Fox News, you ought to turn on MSNBC every once in a while. And if you watch MSNBC, you ought to sample what’s on Fox News from time to time. Recognize that there are alternative views out there, and it’s not always just about the loudest voices on either extreme. I urge you, as members of Virginia’s leading business organization, to seek out and support those individuals -- from both political parties -- who readily acknowledge that neither side has all the right answers."

To be honest Fox News scares me, but MSNBC gives me a headache too. But I like the sentiment of Senator Warner's statement. It's better to be informed first hand as to the comments on both sides than rely on out-of-context sound bites which although funny and memorable, can be misleading.

I think a lot of the people at the rally were there more to listen than to shout. I only saw one bullhorn, but I also saw an accordion. I saw a lot of people smiling...not screaming or threatening or conspiring or even making much of a fuss. It was the happiest group I've ever seen on the Mall, so maybe I'm not the only one feeling all peace, love, and "can't we all get along."

Sick

2010-11-01T23:30:00.000-04:00

It started as triple sneezes and a general grogginess, but the afternoon I was Sick. Yes, with a capital S.

Joy was already staying home from preschool with a deep cough, and I had decided to work from home with her so she could have a pajama day and we could both take it a little easier. It was not a bad plan for a Monday, especially after what had been an especially busy weekend.

Joy woke up for our nap, full of energy, and I woke up with packed, stinging sinuses. Plan B meant not much work got done and Joy watched too much TV while I drifted in an out of sleep.

When I'm sick and craving saltines, ginger ale, dry toast, and weak Lipton tea, what I really want is my great grandmother to tell me to lie on the couch and rest. GG took care of me when I was sick more than anyone else, in fact most members of my family can probably say that about her. She was nurse, among other things, to many of us. I remember those days home from school, resting on the navy and green velour striped couch, watching TV and occasionally startled by the cacophonous ring of the rotary phone on the table next to my head. The only thing required of me on those days was to stay still and rest, and I now realize what a wonderful gift that was, even if there was no butter on my toast.

brain dump

2010-06-16T23:51:00.000-04:00

Despite the outward appearances of many blogs, no one is superwoman filling the world with art, crafts, projects, amazing food, etc. ...at least not without some serious struggling (and maybe corporate sponsors) too. Sometimes I think we do ourselves a disservice by only sharing the rosy successes. I don't want to Photoshop my life to look ideal.

That said, I am damn lucky. On any given day I can throw on a pair of shorts and a tank top, my hair still wet from a quick shower, and head out to my office with the purple walls and bean bag chairs, and earn a living...it's not lush, but we pay the bills. Sometimes I am bombarded with irrational requests but most of the people I work with are fair and fantastic.I give away too much pro bono, but the blame for that belongs with me (and once in awhile--Tony).

The kids go to school within walking distance of the office, and I stroll down Main Street a couple times a day. The walk there is quiet, but on the way back I get the scoop on their day in lots of detail. They are amazing little people, and I am very proud of them. Today Joy said, "Mommy you have too much to do. You've got to do the laundry and get me breakfast too before we go to work." Add "observant" to Joy's long list of wonderful qualities. Later she cries, "No, Mommy, not more work!" as I sit down to my laptop. She's right again.

I'm an artist who hasn't finished anything since March, and my studio is a disaster. You can barely see the floor and most of the supplies littered everywhere are for kids classes instead of my own stuff. I'll reclaim it one of these days, but in the meantime it's just a drag on me. It's easier to just avoid it all together.

I see amazing and creative things, and I feel both inspired and inferior. There's a utilitarian aspect to everything I've been doing for quite awhile now. It's all so practical, and I really want to do something beautiful and odd with no purpose other than to make me feel good.

half-baked

2010-05-04T00:06:00.004-04:00

It's just about midnight, and I'm waiting for chocolate pizelles to cool. It's Joy's turn to bring snack to preschool tomorrow, and I'm doing my self-imposed penance for screwing up Cole's snack last week.

Let's face it, Joy and Cole do not provide snack...that's my job. It's also something I have fun doing because I get to bake something and give it away to a bunch of kids that are excited about it. It's ideal really--all the fun of baking with none of the calories and very little pressure, because kids will eat almost anything as far as baked goods.

In the 3 years since Cole started school, I've baked lemon whoopie pies, cotton candy cupcakes, pumpkin and sweet potato mini donuts, countless muffins, krispie treats, banana bread, and almond cookies with rolled buttercream frosting shaped like leaves, dolphins, and pumpkins. And I've loved it. When we get the new snack calendar each month, the kids and I figure out what we're going to make together, and Cole usually talks it up to his friends for days ahead of time. Silly? Yes. Fun? Also yes.

When Cole met me at the office after school last week and told me I forgot about snack, I was shocked and more than a little embarrassed. I've been so busy with my own schedule and deadlines that I missed an important thing for him. Cole was very cool about it. He was genuinely surprised too. Neither one of us had known it was his turn, and together we came up with a plan to do something extra special next time.

why

2010-03-26T22:22:00.006-04:00

Generally I know WHAT I've got to do and WHO needs it. It's the HOW and WHEN that I can't answer as easily. I overcommit and grossly underestimate how much time things will take.

I am not unique. I know we all juggle tons of things, but for a moment I want to wallow in it. Lately it seems like just when I might have a handle on my schedule, something else is thrown at me. It's the kind of plot twist that would make for a compelling TV drama or a great dark comedy.

What's that you can juggle 6 tennis balls? Let's add a bowling ball to the mix! ...and it's on fire...and how about a blindfold...while jumping on a trampoline...and some frantic music for dramatic effect. Yeah, this week was like one of those Flying Karamazov Brothers bits that I find endlessly entertaining when someone else is doing it.

There's one question I've been ignoring and that's WHY. Ugh, that's a big one, and it's much easier to brush off than it is to answer which is why for the first time in forever I've opened a bottle of wine. I may not have the answer but I will get a good night's sleep. Cheers!

pizza dough recipe

2010-01-31T18:56:00.003-05:00

Joy of Cooking is one of the handiest cookbooks. As basic as its cover, it may not look exciting, but it's infinitely useful.

It answers all my dumb cooking questions without laughing at me. How long do you boil an egg to make it hard-boiled? It offers a guide on how to soft-boil, hard-boil, or coddle, and it will even teach you how to avoid green yolks, unless someone in your house prefers them (Tony).

It's the cookbook I use the most often, so when I decided to try to make pizza dough, it was a natural starting point. Here's the recipe with some notes:

--2 1/4 teaspoons active yeast (I buy this in a small container from Yoder's and keep it in the fridge)
--1 1/3 cups warm water
--3 1/2 to 3 3/4 cups all purpose flour (I think it needed closer to 4, so it would be less sticky, but use your judgment)
--2 tablespoons olive oil
--1 tablespoon salt
--1 tablespoon sugar
--cornmeal

Pour warm water in the bowl of a stand mixer and sprinkle yeast over the water. Let stand 5 minutes.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl, and mix by hand or on low speed for about 1 minute to blend together.

Knead for 10 minutes by hand or with the dough hook on low to medium speed until the dough is smooth and elastic. (If it's sticky slowly add more flour, a spoonful at a time.)

Coat a bowl with olive oil (or cooking spray) and transfer dough to coated bowl. Turn dough once to coat with oil. Cover bowl and let rise in a warm place until doubled (1 to 1 1/2 hours).

Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Grease and dust 2 baking sheets with cornmeal. Punch the dough down and divide in half. Roll each half into a ball and wrap loosely in plastic wrap (or put in a covered bowl) and let rest for 10 minutes. Get your toppings ready while you wait.

Flatten each dough ball out to get your circle started, and then slowly stretch it out to a 12 inch round. Move it to your baking sheet. Lift the edge of the dough and pinch it to form a lip. Brush dough lightly with olive oil and then use your fingertips to push dents in the surface of the dough to prevent bubbling. Let rest for about 10 more minutes before adding your toppings.

I baked it about 10 minutes. Give it a try and let me know how you tweak it to make it your own.

pinching pennies till they cry

2010-01-31T10:12:00.002-05:00

My motivation has less to do with the cost of groceries and more to do with a greatly reduced income. I'm shopping a lot less often, and improvising as best I can. I had cut grocery shopping to every other week, but now it's been 3 weeks since my last real trip. I still pick up milk, eggs, and some bananas once a week, but that's about it.

Cooking without a stocked pantry requires creativity. I always have the kitchen stocked with stuff to bake sweets, and now I'm repurposing all that flour to fill some gaps in our menu. Last night this meant white pizza for the kids and the BBQ chicken pizza with cheddar and black beans for me and Tony. I made pizza dough from scratch for the first time, and I was pleasantly surprised by the results. It was easier than I had expected and it made a crisp, thin crust that wasn't too difficult to stretch. No tossing yet, but I'll work up to it.

When I make a big shopping trip, I head to Wegmans and buy mostly store brand, which is cheaper and as good or better than the name brand. I still clip coupons too, but I don't use them as much. I did hit on a crazy deal where Wegmans had a coupon for $10 off 10 Weight Watchers meals, and then I had coupons from the paper for some free ones. In the end the freezer was stocked with red boxes that Tony and I can grab for lunch or a quick dinner. FYI, the mini pizzas are really good, and they're a bargain because there are 8 in a box...just don't eat them all in one sitting...not that I would know anything about that...

This week I unsubscribed from almost all the store/catalog e-mail lists. A lot of them don't even offer discounts or coupon codes and they just clog up my inbox. I figure it will reduce the temptation to pick up something that looks like a bargain.

I read something the other day about how sales make you feel like you're saving money, but the only way to really save is to not spend it in the first place. Keeping this in mind, makes the "deals" a lot less tempting.

pause

2010-01-25T20:49:00.002-05:00

Okay, so spending 2 days in the car going back and forth to doctors in Northern VA is not my idea of fun, particularly when Joy got carsick during the return trip, but being sick did have some advantages.

I rested. I had no other choice really. I canceled meetings. Mention a contagious virus and people are practically begging you to reschedule. I read a book. I colored my hair. I re-watched the first 4 episodes of LOST.

I played with the kids...a lot. We made tissue paper flowers. We drew pictures. We watched a movie in bed on my laptop (thanks Netflix!). We baked a loaf of bread. We took naps.

Friends made sure we were well fed with a casserole, dinner rolls, and a plethora of soups. It was a wonderful reminder that no matter how isolated I may feel sometimes with my overloaded schedule, I am still in the company of friends.

sicko

2010-01-20T21:27:00.002-05:00

You know that scratchy feeling in your throat, it's like a germ tapping you on the shoulder trying to get your attention. I had that feeling on Monday and ignored it, not that there's much you can really do at that point. My mom swears by Cold-eeze, but just one lozenge totals my guts. Pick your poison--an overdose of zinc and several days of abdominal pain or coming down with the ick. A cold is a lot easier to explain and less disruptive to my schedule than suddenly spending entire days in the bathroom, so I choose illness.

The scratchy throat feeling did not take kindly to my ignoring it, so the ick accelerated and by 9:30 I was trembling with the chills, my head packed with congestion, and my throat felt like it had been scooped out with a grapefruit spoon.

This is the kind of ick that leads me to bargaining with a higher power and wondering why I am being punished. Please make me better tomorrow. I'll take my vitamins. I'll eat more vegetables. I'll go to bed at a normal hour. I'll exercise more. I'll sing happy birthday out loud 2 times while I wash my hands. Please make this go away as suddenly as it arrived.

But now the kids have it, and suddenly I'm numb to the pressure in my head, and I've figured out a way to swallow less and block out my throat. They have fevers that keep me warm when I've got goosebumps from the chills. We're quite a crew.

Today we headed to the pediatrician and left with the diagnosis of 2 different viral rashes, acute sinusitis, and strep throat. Joy has 10 days of antibiotics, and Cole will have 5. On the way home, Joy lost her breakfast, lunch, and any fluid she drank in the last 24 hours, while I was on a conference call on my cell phone. It made for a sudden goodbye and a long clean up which I will complete tomorrow once I get out the allen wrenches to disassemble the carseat. It takes a special kind of attention to clean up from a motion sickness disaster, and I'm sure it will help take my mind off everything else.

when you're a jet...

2010-01-17T21:14:00.003-05:00

My first Jets game was at Shea, so I must have been about 7 years old. We were in the nose bleed seats, 2 rows from the very top. The stairs were so steep that my grandparents told me to concentrate on looking down at my feet as I walked back down the stairs, because if I looked up, I felt like I might tip right over and fall to the field several stories below.

I don't remember a lot of those early games. My view was similar to that of the Goodyear Blimp humming just above. The players were ant size, and you couldn't see too much more on those old jumbotrons either. In our section, there was one guy with a rainbow afro who was our self-appointed cheerleader. The cheers weren't always rated G or even PG-13. We didn't tailgate, and during the drive into the city was when my grandmother did most of her yelling. That much I do remember.

My grandfather has been a Jets fan my entire life, and he proudly tells the story of my considerate birth. He was at a game that cold day in December, and I waited until he returned to be born. The Jets had won, 24-17 against the Chargers.

Pop's season tickets greatly improved when the Jets moved to the Meadowlands, and so did the drive. The tailgates started, with friends taking turns each game. Who would've guessed that a bunch of firemen were foodies in disguise? We were treated to beef and barley soup, london broil, and at one special game the chief made paella.

The seats we held the longest were in section 124, row 18. I grew up in those seats, eventually coming into high school exhausted after a Monday night game. I was there for Campbell soup painter caps night, when there was more fighting than scoring and those hats were set on fire and thrown from the upper deck. That was the end of freebies for a long time.

Pop is a very loyal fan. We never missed a game due to weather, and we only left early once when the game was without hope and the temperatures were hovering at zero before the wind chill. Wind chill is something special at the Meadowlands. It is caught in the bowl of the stadium and it spins without mercy. Typically I would lose the feeling in my feet about an hour into the game, by the end I may not feel anything from the knees down. I would hobble out of the stadium legless and numb, despite my tights, stretchy pants, 2 pairs of socks and fashionable and practical Doc Martens.

I wasn't the only one who aged in those seats. There was the couple that came on a date, flash forward, and they were there with their kids. The wife yelled even louder than her husband who sported a Jets hard hat to every game. He passed away a few years ago, and was mourned by his football family who only knew his first name and his favorite hat.

One of my fondest Meadowlands memories was a preseason game in the earlier 90s. It was the annual Jets vs. Giants, battle for bragging rights. We were back up in the upper deck, and my sister had come along. Tara and I were as comfortable at the stadium as any place in our hometown, and after the game, we ran past the escalators, to race down those crazy spirals walkways that dot the corners of the stadium. As we laughed, my grandmother yelled for my grandfather to follow us. Tara and I had a good lead on him, running as fast as our legs would go with the slope of the walkway pushing us even faster. I thought I might just tumble and roll the rest of the way down if I wasn't careful, but on I laughed and ran around another bend, and then the yelling started. The crowds on the spirals and the escalators noticed our race, not because 2 silly teenage girls were much to look at. It was the big guy, my grandfather, huffing and puffing trying to catch up to us that they cheered for.

Tony and I have gone to a few games together, and Pop was excited to share his tickets with him when the Packers came to town. It was a rare Jets win, and Pop spilled someone else's beer on Tony, but still, good times. A couple quarterback switches later, Tony and Pop are united in their disdain for the Vikings.

I am sentimental about the ugly, concrete monster that was Giants Stadium to the world and Jets stadium on certain Sundays. The best football may not have been played there, and there's nothing impressive about the architecture, but it was where football was played all my life and it is permanently interwined with the game for me.

running and run down

2010-01-15T00:19:00.003-05:00

Big projects, lots of meetings, and tight deadlines make for one worn out me.

But the lack of balance in my life, bickering with the kids over dinner, stressing over finances, it all melts away as I watch the news and see the big picture.

Over the summer, I had described to Cole how earthquakes happen when he had expressed an interest. It made for some fun diagrams and research for him. It's much harder to answer his questions now.

you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll dance your hat and gloves off Pt. 2

2010-01-13T00:40:00.002-05:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll dance your hat and gloves off Pt. 1

2010-01-13T00:39:00.001-05:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

before and after

2010-01-11T23:25:00.000-05:00

As a Christmas present for Joy, I refinished my old toy box to make a dress-up trunk. I've been inspired by the many before and afters that are featured on design*sponge, and I was excited to do something special for Joy. She's a funny little girl, and she really doesn't ask for very much. She loves dress-up and imaginative play, and the new trunk could store her already impressive collection of princess outfits.

The toy box was such a wreck that there was little risk involved, but I still panicked when the first coat of color started to bubble. It was a more challenging project than I expected, and the biggest lesson learned was to slowly build up layers of spray paint instead of trying to get a solid coat right away. I didn't accept that little nugget of truth until Christmas eve when I was still desperately trying to finish the trunk in between church and making dinner. I went to bed exhausted with the scent of spray paint dancing in my head.

The "after" isn't as perfect as I would've liked, but the real end result was even better than anticipated. Joy loved her new trunk and a day hasn't passed that she hasn't played with it.

David Sedaris

2010-01-10T00:31:00.000-05:00

David Sedaris is a remarkable writer, and I became familiar with his work, not by reading it, but by hearing it. This American Life is one of several podcasts that keep me company during my late nights, and segments with Sedaris are some of my favorites. I've laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks as he sang the Oscar Mayer jingle as Billie Holiday or recalled a powerfully awkward childhood memory.

Tony and my grandfather, the two members of my family least likely to read, gave me books by David Sedaris for Christmas. I am sure all involved would enjoy the irony at hand. Pop, if he were to read the book, would not approve at all, while Tony would rather enjoy Sedaris via iTunes or YouTube.

"When You Are Engulfed in Flames" is funny and even sentimental in unexpected ways. Somehow he reconciles really ugly matters in beautiful ways, and combines startingly honesty with flat out lies. Each essay stands on its own, but it's hard to read just one, kind of like junk food, but I insist that this is good for you.

Mount Pony

2010-01-09T22:02:00.000-05:00

Culpeper is full of hidden treasures. While it may not be hidden exactly, the Library of Congress Packard Campus is certainly a treasure. Perched atop Mount Pony, the main purpose of the campus is to house and curate film and sound recordings, but they generously open their doors on a regular basis to share free films with the public.

I have wanted to check out a movie there for quite a while, and my early attempts to get a reservation were unsuccessful. It's not often that they show a family friendly film, and so those are especially difficult tickets to get. Saturday we were lucky to attend the Disney Shorts festival which included cartoons spanning from 1928 to 1995. In the first cartoon, Mickey Mouse smoked and drank, but even with the scratchy soundtrack and little, if any, dialogue, the comedy remained and all ages were laughing and giggling.

Joy was disappointed that the chipmunk movie didn't star Alvin, but beyond that we were all entertained. The screening theater is beautiful, comfortable, and without a doubt, state of the art. It looked as if the projection room was almost as large as the theater. It will definitely be a place to bring company when they're in town. I'd love to take Pop to see an old western or Abbott and Costello.

intent

2010-01-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

I started the day with the intent of painting tonight. My schedule was jam packed with meetings and some big deadlines, and by this morning I was ready to cry "uncle." So I decided that I would reward myself at the end of the day by working in the studio.

BUT...

...instead it was my turn to fall asleep in the bean bag chairs at the office. While uploading trade journal files to the printer and backing up my active jobs, I dozed off next to Cole while he watched SuperWhy. He woke me up when his show was over, and we packed up to go home.

I walked in the door, took off my coat and went back to bed until dinner was ready, and then I turned in early with the kids. My tank was on E.

cookies and books

2010-01-07T22:24:00.003-05:00

During the weeks before and after Christmas, I sustained myself with cookies and books. While I took 3 months to finish the Wright Brothers biography, I read the entire Twilight series in about a week and a half. It's not that I necessarily loved the books, but I would qualify them as a guilty pleasure...along the lines of cookies for breakfast.

Christmas wrap-up

2010-01-06T03:41:00.004-05:00

Tonight signaled the end of holiday season.

I wrapped my last Christmas presents—some to mail out to friends and another to send to school for a gift exchange—and the wrapping paper and ribbons have been put away.

The kids had their Christmas pageant tonight. It had been postponed due to the snowstorm that blanketed the area in 2 feet of snow on the Saturday before Christmas. Their holiday break was extended by 2 days, but Joy was disappointed when the pageant was rescheduled.

This is Joy's first year of school and her first performance, and tonight was a big moment for the little girl. With her crown of tinsel, Joy proudly served in the angel choir, singing and gesturing with gusto. She rocked.

On the other hand, the postponement was like a stay of execution for Cole. He dreads these performances. Easily embarrassed and overly sensitive, Cole interprets the smiles and laughter of the audience as being at his expense. Last year, he asked if I would drop him off and not attend the pageant at all because my presence seems to make the experience even worse for him.

His teacher was sympathetic, and Cole was given a unique role in tonight's performance. While his classmates paraded into church costumed to represent the 12 days of Christmas, Cole strolled in wearing his same dress shirt and pants with a stack of oversized cards barely tucked under his 6 year old arms. The boy meant business.

Cole's job was to pass the correct card to another boy who then held the card high over his head while their classmates performed the 12 days of Christmas. There was one card for each day of Christmas.

Cole had tried to describe his job to me ahead of time, and I couldn't understand why 2 boys were needed for the cards. Cole shook his head, frustrated with my ignorance. This job required careful organization and perfect timing. Did I not comprehend the importance of this task? Tonight, as I watched him at work, I was amazed by his level of concentration, and happy to see him finally having fun at a school show.

late night TV

2010-01-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

A friend has been encouraging me to check out Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and last night was the perfect opportunity. I had brought home a ton of work, and while I usually work with music or silence, TV made for good company. I rarely choose the channel or program that I end up watching. I don't even bother battling the shrieks for SpongeBob, sports, and superheroes because as much as I'd like to deny it, TV is the great pacifier.

So, there I was, everyone else snoring upstairs, Kittenhead included, and I held the remote. It was a weird feeling.

I caught most of Better off Ted which I LOVE, and luckily it is not a serial show where you have to catch every episode in order to follow along. It's quirky and forgiving of my absences, and those are qualities worth loving.

Leno was painfully lame, despite a brief appearance by Guy Fieri which was marred by the longer appearance of Kim Kardashian. Conan, reunited with the pinchable Andy Richter, was much more fun, and although Triumph usually wears thin on me, I was laughing out loud during his visit to a dog spa in L.A. It was wrong and oh so right.

It has always seemed to me that late night shows get progressively weirder as the night wears on, and they are only truly funny when watched at the appropriate hour. I don't think you DVR late night and watch it with lunch. My brain has to be up late too in order to fully appreciate the humor.

In support of my theory, Fallon was the funniest of the night and it was like watching a bunch of goofy friends hang out. Michael Cera was the guest and they had so much fun playing Taboo that I am inspired to dust off our own board games.

Next was Carson Daly...really? He's still on TV? That was my signal to turn off the TV.

small stuff

2010-01-04T22:02:00.003-05:00

Some days I have big plans, and other days, like today, all I can do is catch up on small stuff. The fish tank got cleaned, teachers' gifts were delivered, kids were given haircuts, and one package is now ready to mail out.

Sure, it's a bunch of random items on the to-do list, but when the list is long, even the small stuff adds up to plenty of stress. I'm grateful to have gotten at least a few things done, and I'm going to try harder to ignore the voice that says, "but hey, you didn't get [insert guilt trip here] done."

U.S. botanical garden

2010-01-03T02:20:00.000-05:00

Just like the real thing, this display was one of the lesser noticed replicas at the U.S. Botanical Garden's holiday show. All of the displays were made of natural materials, like tree bark, gourds, and leaves.

long day

2010-01-02T22:21:00.002-05:00

Today started with Zumba, ended with Wegmans, with D.C. in the middle. I had promised the kids we would see the model trains at the National Botanical Gardens, and they were so excited that temperatures in the teens with 40 mph wind gusts were no deterrent. We bundled up, and used the canopy on the stroller as a wind shield to protect the kids.

While in D.C., we also visited the National Gallery of Art (NGA) for the first time with the kids. Our last visit had been with big kid Tony B., and we were followed by security almost as carefully this time. I had found Close Up Art cards last summer and bought the NGA pack with a visit in mind. We finally got to use them, and they definitely helped keep the kids' interest (an buy us more time at the museum).

The cards attracted the attention of one man when he saw Joy comparing her art card to the real thing. He wanted to know where we got them, and he was hoping to pick up a pack in the gift shop. We ran into him again in the Renaissance galleries, and he proudly showed us his own brand new pack.

Pictures to follow tomorrow once I recharge my camera...and myself.

resolutions

2010-01-01T13:11:00.003-05:00

I've always written resolutions, and I'm one of those weird people that actually enjoy them. It's not that I necessarily keep them all, but I do keep them in mind the whole year and I usually get a couple of them checked off the list by the end of the year.

Tony has zero interest in resolutions and when pushed he'll make the fail-safe "lose weight" resolution, just so he can prove how pointless resolutions are.

Last year, I resolved to get the whole family on board, and with the help of crayons and a big sheet of paper, I got us all around the table to make some plans for 2009. We wrote goals and things we wanted to do, and Cole made pictures of his ideas, like play soccer and take a train trip. Joy added a few colorful scribbles. When we were done we framed the paper and hung it on the landing of the stairs. It was fun, and every time we came down the stairs we had a friendly reminder of what we had wanted to do.

We took the frame down last night to see how we did. We had kept half of the resolutions...not too shabby. We put together a new sheet for 2010 with some carryovers from last year, and we've got a lot more on this one!

cinna-BOMBS

2009-12-29T20:32:00.003-05:00

Mom always made cinnamon rolls Christmas morning...or more precisely the Pilsbury dough boy did. We would open presents in our PJs, eat cinnamon rolls, and then head over to my grandparents house to spend the rest of the day there.

It's a tradition I've kept up, and Cole especially loves eating something so sweet in the morning. He's as excited about the cinnamon rolls as he is about opening presents. This year, I wanted to try to make my own after I saw a recipe that sounded manageable. I ran it by Cole first. I didn't want to mess with something that was clearly important to him.

The recipe was easy enough, as long as you've got time to let the dough rise. Of course, I was up wrapping presents so that was not an issue. I chose to cut the dough into 8 servings, and when they baked up they were HUGE. The kids were thrilled, but I'll slice them into 10 or 12 servings next time.

The cinna-BOMBS got thumbs up from Cole and Tony. I liked them better than Pilsbury because they weren't greasy at all and a lot less sweet. Joy liked them better too, because unless it's chocolate, she's not that interested in sweets. I just gotta get the size under control for next time or serve each one with 2 forks!

Santa

2009-12-24T14:29:00.004-05:00

As a parent, Santa eludes me.

I grew up knowing that Santa was not real. It wasn't some sudden discovery or a slip-up by an adult. I don't recall ever believing or that my lack of belief was a big deal. I don't remember my family making much of a fuss about Santa other than Christmas morning--the ritual visit of my grandfather's friend Jerry decked out as Santa. Jerry has a distinctive high-pitched voice and a terrible stutter. No one could tell me that this person Ho-Ho-Ho-ing in the living room was anyone other than Jerry. I would tolerate sitting in his lap for the promise of a cookie...I was a skeptic, but a cookie is REAL.

In first grade, I clearly remember talking to my classmates at lunch about Santa, and yes, I was the kid other parents fear. I told them it was all fake, but not to worry, few believed me. One boy made a persuasive pro-Santa plea which the others embraced. Parents and fat guys in suits were simply Santa's helpers.

None of this has mattered much until I became a parent. I try to engage in the Santa game, but it's a struggle because I don't really know how it's played. Tony further complicates the matter by also celebrating St. Nick's Day where a separate Santa-like character fills stockings on December 6.

Cole is full of questions, and they're good ones. Either he is aware of my feelings or he's as overly practical as I was at his age.

Joy, on the other hand, is full-on fantasy. She accepts Santa with enthusiasm, and she may be the one that can help me figure out how to do the story of Santa justice. She's even got Cole re-examining his own stance on the subject.

peppermint popcorn

2009-12-15T00:29:00.002-05:00

I didn't bake this weekend, but I did try a new recipe for Peppermint Popcorn because I thought a sweet snack mix would be fun for the kids. It's oddly addictive (the word "refreshing" was used more than once to describe it), and it was a hit with all ages. This would work great as a party food, school snack or in cookie tins as a gift.

A couple words of caution: I used white chocolate chips because they were a lot cheaper than white bakers chocolate and I couldn't find almond bark. The chips did not melt as easily, but I added about a tablespoon of canola oil to help make them creamier. The recipe says to expect the chocolate to seize up when you add the peppermint extract, but not to worry. This happened to a greater degree with the chips, and instead of pouring them over the popcorn I ended up with a quickly cooling blob in the middle of a giant bowl of popcorn. I ended up working the mixture by hand to coat the popcorn which was messy but effective. Also it would've been a good idea to set out the wax paper on the table before I had hands coated in peppermint popcorn...

soup's on

2009-12-13T19:47:00.011-05:00

On Saturday, I made soup for a bunch of local friends, and it was great to have the house full of food and laughter—to just hang out, catch up, and say Merry Christmas. We have been overscheduled and working so much, that a day with friends felt like a wonderful indulgence. It was a reminder that the holidays are about so much more than the end-of-year fundraisers and crazy deadlines that have filled my weeks and weekends.

I served up 5 soups (Red Lentil Chili, Butternut Squash, Tomato and Orzo, Beef Stew and Chicken Chili) and lots of snacks which was challenging after an all-nighter on Thursday, but cooking calms me and thankfully Tony helped with a lot of the cleaning. The house is never spotless, but I'm done with worrying about it. It's our home, it's cozy, and while I like a certain amount of order, it's a place to live not a showcase.

I had fun cleaning up serving pieces that have been collecting dust for years, and set a colorful spread with Fiestaware and some World Market finds that Tony had given me many Christmases ago. We used to have a lot of fun planning parties like this together. Tony and I even hosted our own wedding rehearsal dinner as a cookout at our old townhouse. Meatloaf burgers, bratwurst, and killer baked beans made for a good time.

Yesterday, Tony took coats, and Cole gave tours of the house while Joy provided entertainment. It was a full family effort and after the last guest went home, Joy grabbed a pillow from the couch and fell asleep on the living room floor. The rest of us hit the couch to watch Elf and gave in to sleep shortly after.

heart tomie

2009-12-02T08:45:00.001-05:00

When Cole was very small and just starting to play with crayons, my friend Kristen sent him a book called The Art Lesson by Tomie dePaola. It's a sweet story about a child who wants to bring his treasured box of 64 Crayolas to school so he can use them instead of the tiny box of crayons that the teacher gives him. The illustrations are beautiful and warm, but I was most struck by the writing. It was as if a child with a fantastic vocabulary had written it himself because the story had the voice of a child. The reality is the story was written by a remarkable adult with an exceptional memory and a great big heart.

When Joy was born, Kristen sent The Baby Sister, and I began to realize that Tomie's childhood resembled mine in some ways—the omnipresence of older relatives, the combination of Italian and Irish families, Catholic upbringing, and the importance of crayons.

A year or so later, I discovered Strega Nona while in a bookstore with the kids. Strega Nona reminds me so much of my great grandmother that when I read the books to the kids I end up telling them stories about her too. They even have the same nose and stocky build. To my kids, they have become one person. I picked up Brava Strega Nona this year which is the most impressive pop-up book I've ever seen. The last page is Strega Nona herself with arms outstretched, and Joy loves to give her a hug.

For my birthday, Tony and the kids gave me a copy of Big Anthony and the Magic Ring, signed by Tomie dePaola himself. It was a wonderful surprise. Tomie has signed books and even written custom inscriptions on request for his local bookstore in VT, but he is currently recovering from hand surgery and unable to sign or paint. I sincerely hope he is feeling better soon.

smelly cat

2009-12-01T00:00:00.004-05:00

Today is my birthday, and I could reflect on what the day and share stories of gifts, or I could tell a funny story. I choose funny. Heartfelt will wait until tomorrow.

My cat Kittenhead did not travel with us for Thanksgiving. She stayed here in the capable care of her vet with her favorite brush to keep her company. Despite my many efforts, she loathes the car and expresses her disdain by stinking up the place. Kittenhead is an easy-going and affectionate companion but she has made her position regarding the car very clear.

One of her longest trips was when I moved from NJ to VA, and I got stuck in beltway traffic as soon as I crossed into D.C. Her protests had been solely vocal up to that point, but then she pooped in the carrier which was located in the passenger seat...right next to me...twice. It was April and still chilly outside, but I had to crack the windows for the rest of the trip.

I saw a horse trailer in another lane and began to imagine a tiny cat size trailer that could be hitched to my Pontiac Sunbird, Kittenhead's tail hanging out of the back. Brilliant, right?

So yesterday, Tony did me the favor of picking up Kittenhead from the vet as I caught up on work at home. The vet is less than 5 miles away, but Tony announced "I think she did something" when he brought her carrier inside. He completely underestimated her, but I saw a glimpse of the mess inside and knew this was extraordinarily bad. As far as I could tell she had crossed her little kitty legs and did not use a litter box during the 5 days we were gone. Yup, she stored it all up for the car trip home.

Tony brought the carrier upstairs to our bathroom where I'd have room to work and at least linoleum would be easier to clean. I'll spare you the details of the carrier's interior, but I finished a gallon of bleach scrubbing the carrier, the tub, and later the bathroom floor. Yeah it was gross and all that, but it was manageable.

The real problem was Kittenhead. She was as much of a mess as the carrier had been and she reeked. I knew what had to be done, and it was something that I had never successfully done before. She needed a bath.

There had only been one previous attempt to bathe Kittenhead. She was about 2 years old and had a terrible case of fleas caught from a new kitten in the house aptly named Folly. Folly was a small but powerful ball of fluff and while it took 2 people, she and her gajillion fleas were successfully bathed. Fresh with the confidence of bathing Folly, I attempted to rid Kittenhead of her infestation. As soon as the water touched her fur, she roared like a jaguar, spun from the grip of my helper, lodged her claws in his shoulder, and leapt from the tub. Next stop, Petsmart for a flea dip.

I called for Tony to get the kids' bath wash (tear-free!) and I gathered up my courage as I started the water. I chose lukewarm water, but I don't know that Kittenhead appreciated my attempts at making her comfortable. With a couple inches of water in the tub, just enough to be able to scoop it up in your hand for the quickest rinsing possible, I was as ready as I'd ever be. I scooped up my beloved, but currently disgusting pet, and held her as firmly as I could while I tersely gave instructions to Tony.

Hurry. Wash her leg. The tail. Hurry.

I held her against the side of the tub, determined not to let her twist out of my grip and to stay clear of her claws. I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and with my shoulders intact. I talked to her and tried to reassure my pet of fourteen years, but all she wanted was out.

As Tony rinsed her, Kittenhead got loose. I ended up with two long scratches on my forearm, and one claw punctured the skin near my thumb. I actually pulled her paw out of my hand. It hurt A TON, but it's already looking a lot better today.

I dried Kittenhead off and let her bolt from the bathroom to a favorite hiding place. All of us needed to recover from the ordeal. I thought it might be a day or two before we were buddies again, but she hopped up on the couch next to me while I worked on my laptop last night. Thankfully she smelled so much better...just like the kids after their baths.

a month of blogging

2009-11-30T23:35:00.001-05:00

Well, I managed a post a day, and I liked it.

I did run into trouble over Thanksgiving because I forgot an ethernet cable for the laptop and mom's PC wouldn't cooperate with the NaBloPoMo site. And do you know what happened? I actually missed blogging those couple days. I started a mental list of potential posts, and I was looking forward to getting back to write it all down. It feels good to be doing this again instead of feeling guilty for not writing.

Another funny side effect was that my friends I hadn't seen in a long time had all read my posts this month, and while their enthusiasm was encouraging, the best part was that they were kind of already caught up with me and I could find out more about what they've been up to...of course this was in between interruptions from all the kids at our massive get together...so time was of the essence!

Seriously, I'm glad I decided to try NaBloPoMo, and I plan to keep going.

old friends in new places

2009-11-29T23:05:00.000-05:00

Today we wished to the Propster family a fond farewell and best wishes as they prepare for the cross-country move to California. We were also introduced to their 3 toddler sons, while they met Joy for the first time.

It says something about your friendship when 4 years can pass between visits, but you still feel connected and miss each other. It's also a reflection of the new-fangled ways to keep in touch like blogs and facebook. We've shared photos and commiserated over comments about clean houses, kids, and pitiful football teams. We still laugh together even though we're far apart, and as I was reminded by another friend over the weekend, as much as we seem to be all running in different directions, our days are more alike than we might expect.

This is the second set of friends we've seen off lately. The Nesbits headed out of town to a new home in San Antonio. Annie left first and I missed my chance to tell her how much I was going to miss her, but I made sure Glen and the boys didn't leave town without a tin full of cookies and some goodies.

I already miss everyone, and I definitely feel like I missed out on spending more time together while we were living closer. I don't like feeling so busy that hanging out with friends requires planning, but if facebook posts are any indication, that's just another thing we all have in common.

Here's wishing for leisurely visits and less hectic days ahead.

leftovers

2009-11-28T22:42:00.000-05:00

I don't usually eat much turkey on Thanksgiving. There's just something about a room full of boisterous relatives and wrangling a fussy eater on a holiday that makes me lose my appetite. I pick at the antipasto and grab some bread, especially if it's fresh, but I wait until the day after to fill a plate with turkey, stuffing and gravy.

I've never minded leftovers. Somethings are even better the next day, like meatloaf or lasagna, but turkey is not one of these magical foods. Without a generous amount of gravy, turkey gets drier by the minute.

Tony and I had been joking with my mom, well Tony was serious, about different recipes for leftover turkey. Tony wanted to make Turkey Balls after seeing them on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, and he almost had her convinced to do it too. Mom has an inherent fear of deep frying.

Instead she chose a Wegman's recipe for Turkey Pot Pie that I had found in my e-mail on Friday. Well timed!

Mom improvised a bit by adding a bottom crust made from packed stuffing, and it was really good. I'm not a fan of creamy pot pies, and I liked this gravy-based recipe so much better. It's a good thing too because we'll be eating the leftovers of the pot pie, i.e. the leftovers of the leftovers, tomorrow.

new old chair

2009-11-27T23:30:00.001-05:00

I've been entranced by the before/after furniture transformations on Design*Sponge, and I really want to try it myself. I've got plenty of old pieces around the house but most of them have too much sentimental value to serve as a test project.

My friend Isolde is equally fascinated by projects and has been scanning the sidewalks during bulk trash days and filling her garage with her finds. She quickly learned that she hates sanding and project comes to screeching halt.

Isolde's husband Carlos is not at all interested in said projects and would like to use the garage. A few pieces end up back on the curb.

Solution? I brought home one old chair to make new again.

Isolde - Furniture = Happy Carlos + Relieved Isolde

Me + Furniture = Happy Me + Apprehensive Tony

Thanksgiving Highlight

2009-11-26T22:23:00.002-05:00

The highlight of the holiday had nothing to do with turkey or pumpkin pie. It was the spontaneous cheer that erupted in the living room when my cousin Kevin managed a spare with a 7-10 split in Wii bowling.

The last time I had seen Kevin he was heading out to Iraq, and now a couple years later, a game brings us all back to being kids again...even though now I've got kids of my own.

For the record, my 3-year-old earned the second biggest cheer when she got a strike, and she nearly beat the tag team effort of my cousins/professional gamers.

turkey day trek

2009-11-25T20:42:00.000-05:00

We made the turkey day trek and managed to avoid most of the traffic by taking a break at Peddler's Village in Lahaska, PA. My mom met us there since it's a day trip from her house. We used to go there together a couple times a year, but it had been at least 4 years since my last visit.

With the kids, choosing a restaurant is more complicated, so the first thing we did was look on the directory to see where kids menus were available. We decided to check out a restaurant that sounded like it was close to a place where we had eaten before. When we got there we realized it WAS the place we had remembered, but it was completely remodeled with a whole new menu. At first I was sad. I had liked the old place. It had been lushly decorated with fabric billowing from the angled ceiling with old stone fireplaces and creaky wood stairs. Now it was clean and modern with bold graphics, and I was feeling a little prickly. What used to be the Spotted Hog, country tavern was now Sweet Lorraine's Cafe, slick modern eatery.

But then they brought out the menus and crayons and Wiki Sticks for the kids, and it took me longer to choose my meal than to pick out something for the Cole and Joy. The service was friendly and quick, and the food was so fresh and good. It was frankly the best meal I've had in quite a while. Granted, I've been living on cereal, hot dogs, and PB&J for a couple weeks, but still this was some outstanding food. Everyone was oooing and ahing over their meal. And it was cheap considering the size of the portions. It is a damn good thing it is so far away or else I would be a regular.

wipe out

2009-11-24T20:55:00.002-05:00

My wipeboard at work has been a disaster. I write everything I need to remember for the week on it, including appointments. I have columns for Monday through Friday, the weekend, and Someday column for those things that are going to take awhile but are still necessary. The board is never completely wiped clean because there are always things I don't get to in spite of my best intentions. These tasks get stuck in limbo on the board. I erase around them, sometimes I circle them as if to emphasize how long they've been on the board. But once my initial, sometimes self-imposed, deadline is missed I seem to get stuck. These are the things that stress me out and hang over my head.

Over the last week, I've cleared almost all the stragglers over the board, and while I'm exhuasted, I feel a ton better. Can I keep this momentum going and wipe out the rest? Stay tuned.

folded

2009-11-23T23:36:00.002-05:00

Today I have folded over 2,000 sheets of paper for 2 separate projects. All I want to do right now is fold down the sheets and crawl into bed.

weekend wrap up

2009-11-22T21:45:00.002-05:00

This weekend was such a weird mix of stuff that for most of today I couldn't remember what day it was. It feels like somehow all of my time slipped away.

Friday night I stayed up too late working on projects and by the time I finished it was 4 a.m. I was supposed to leave for D.C. by 6, so should I go to sleep or just stay up? I chose sleep and when my eyes popped open it was already past 6, and I started trying to figure out a new timetable for the day. Before I could finish I had fallen back to sleep. My head cold and exhaustion won out, and I missed the conference I was supposed to attend. I feel rotten about it, but it was just too much.

Instead, I spent Saturday with the kids while Tony helped out at Windmore, and he brought back some homework for me, about 3 dozen forms to mount to foamcore and trim. I finished production just in time to run over to church to help a volunteer with the wreath sale. We'd never met before, and we hit it off immediately. Instead of dashing back home, we hung out and talked for about a half hour. What could've been one more thing on the to-do list became a highlight of my day.

Today was back to the to-do's with a mad rush morning, a full day supporting 2 fundraisers, and capped off by baking for 2 days of Thanksgiving feasts at school. Box mixes this time, but I added chocolate chips because they make everything better.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-21T23:32:00.002-05:00

This Thanksgiving…

I will be grateful for the holiday itself—for a day away from work and many non-work, i.e. not paid, work that have been filling my days and nights.

I will be lucky to be healthy again, if I can beat this cold that just knocked me on my butt.

I will temporarily regain my accent and talk with my hands.

I will savor a meal that does not involve a microwave.

I will play pinochle.

I will eat too much and laugh even more.

I will catch up with friends and try to talk about something other than our kids.

I am thankful.

yum

2009-11-20T18:39:00.003-05:00

Somehow I managed to do 4 paintings, start to finish, in one night. I'm not really sure how it happened, but I am glad, especially since they were due today. They are for my artists group's contribution to the arts foundation Festival of Trees fundraiser. We put our eclectic display together tonight, and it really came together in a beautiful way.

I haven't used acrylics since freshman year of college, and I didn't use them very much. I always struggled with a paint brush, and that's why I embraced pastels. Last night's exercise was a pleasant surprise.

my life, the circus

2009-11-19T23:33:00.004-05:00

Short post tonight because I should be sleeping in order to rid myself of the head cold I woke up with this morning. Instead of resting, I'm attempting the ambitious feat of completing 4 paintings in one night--in acrylic nonetheless, a medium I have not touched since college.

Ladies and gentleman, here under the big top at the kitchen table, our daring juggler will attempt to render 4 paintings!

With acrylics! (the crowd gasps)

While blowing her nose! (oooooh!)

Without a net! (wow!)

If the end result isn't too embarrassing, I'll share photos tomorrow.

Joy of Singing

2009-11-18T10:39:00.003-05:00

and I go to Momma and Daddy
and I don't want them do any of them don't
and I don't want Cole to do anything with them
What I want to do is play with them
And I will play with Daddy with my heart
And I love them to my side, my side
And I want to put them with me
Cuz them are my friends

Miss Random

2009-11-17T22:25:00.003-05:00

Right now I am Miss Random. I have a ton of completely unrelated things to remember, research, and complete this week, and I'm having trouble keeping it straight. I've had to delegate too, which is a good thing, but also a sign that I'm feeling the pressure.

Yesterday started quietly enough when I worked from home for a few quiet hours with Joy. The rest of the day involved spraypaint and a hacksaw, a rush job, and then a 3 hour board meeting. By the time I returned home, it felt like my playtime with Joy had happened days ago...oh, and I was starving. Forget 30 minute meals, I'm living on 1 minute meals of microwaved hot dogs, PB&J, and Luna bars.

Today Tony and I had a packed schedule, and I was triple-booked after work with a meeting, and an open house at the school where I was also supposed to help sell Christmas wreaths. Tony stepped in to set up the wreath table while getting Cole off to his classroom for the open house program, but Joy was less than cooperative. I had planned to leave my meeting early, but when Tony called me on my cell, it was clear that it was time to go. Luckily I was nearby, and when I jogged into the school foyer, I found Tony trying to hold Joy while she was flailing and crying. They both looked so tired.

We have all earned some time off next week and a big Thanksgiving dinner. I'm looking forward to a meal that doesn't involve the microwave.

10 word blurb

2009-11-16T22:54:00.002-05:00

My marketing homework is due tomorrow, and I need to come up with a brief (about 10 words) blurb that answers the question "what do you do?". Saying "graphic designer" 5 times doesn't count. The point is to come up with something accurate, interesting, and easy to understand.

My grandfather used to tell people that I went to college to be a "draw-er". Once I graduated, he would say "graffick deziner," enunciating as clearly as his Italian/Portuguese/Paterson upbringing would allow. He still really doesn't understand what I do or why people would pay me to do it, but that doesn't mean he is any less proud of me.

A few years ago, Pop discovered an old family photo in a box that had belonged to his sister. It was a group shot that included his mother and everyone from the old neighborhood. It was a personal treasure.

But the photo was in rough shape. It had been folded several times, and it was cracking along the many creases. Some of the damage obscured entire faces. I asked if I could borrow it, and then I carefully scanned and restored it in Photoshop. It took hours and hours, but I was so excited to be able to show him some part of what I do for a living--something tangible and relevant.

When it was done, I gave him an envelope with the original photo and a photo print of the restored image. He opened it up and his eyes sparkled as he smiled. He carefully pulled out the original photo, refolded it and put it in his dresser drawer. When I showed him the restored copy, he said, "Oh yeah, that's nice," after a quick glance, but he left it on the table.

To Pop, the original was all that mattered. That crumpled timeworn piece of paper was the memory. It had been handled by his mother, and his sister, and now it belonged to him. My slick restored copy was just a copy.

I'm still working on my homework, but one method I use for testing a blurb is whether it would make sense to my grandfather. No buzzwords. No lingo. Simple and honest may not be flashy, but it can still be memorable.

Sunday night dinner

2009-11-15T22:19:00.002-05:00

My family's Sunday night tradition has become dinner and grocery shopping at Wegmans. It's not a bad deal since everyone can get something they like to eat, and I don't have to cook or do dishes.

But I'd like to plan for at least one day at home on the weekends so we can all take it easy. Joy has fallen asleep at the office twice in the last few weeks, and Cole took a cat nap next to the copier Friday evening. I need to make some adjustments before someone finds me snoring on the floor of the office too.

hips don't lie

2009-11-14T21:05:00.003-05:00

A year ago the only thing I could say about the gym is that I felt guilty for never going. I signed up for a free health assessment last fall, and while the results were eye-opening, the straight talk I got from the person who evaluated me had the most impact.

I knew I needed to make changes, but I had trouble figuring out how. My schedule was already full, and I was sacrificing a lot of sleep just to keep up with work. How was I going to fit in working out? I was stumped.

By March I had made very little progress on my own, so I decided to apply for a 10 week weight management program at the gym. The program required you to take a cardio, a strength training, and a flexibility class plus a weigh-in meeting and a personal training session each week. It was a big commitment, but I felt ready to make big changes.

The program made working out a priority for me, and Tony helped me figure out ways to adjust our schedules. I met some great people in the process, and it was encouraging to hear everyone's stories. I found ways to get sleep again because without it I couldn't keep up, and somehow I still kept up with my work.

During the program, I took some classes I never would've taken on my own and others that I had always wanted to try. I got off the treadmill and got hooked on spinning, Body Pump, and Zumba. I was sucking wind in the beginning, but before long, I was feeling stronger and better overall.

Today I went to an 8 1/2 hour Zumba workshop so that I am now certified to teach it. I took the workshop in part to celebrate the changes of this past year, and to prove to myself that I could do it.

in the moment

2009-11-13T19:59:00.004-05:00

This was the week for parent-teacher conferences, and despite what you might expect they were fun.

Cole and Joy love school and with good reason. It sounds like hyperbole, but they have two of the best teachers I have ever met. They are teachers who take the time to first get to know and then to teach each child. Their classroom environment is positive and supportive. They incorporate games and make learning and lessons just a natural part of the day. It is fantastic to watch them work with a scattered group of energetic, newly potty-trained preschoolers or a class full of opinionated "big kid" kindergartners. They guide them in such a calm and gentle way, kids rarely resist.

I really enjoyed hearing their teachers' observations and gaining some insight into how the kids are doing. Cole and Joy are off to great start, and I am very proud of them and grateful for their teachers.

During the meeting with Cole's teacher today, Joy became restless and wanted my attention. Cole's teacher noted how kids live in the moment, and I laughed in agreement. Joy doesn't care about my plans to take some time off to play with her tomorrow. She only cares about this present moment, and this is when she needs me. As adults, we're always planning ahead, chasing some deadline or far off goals. Kids could care less about 2 weeks from now...it might as well be 2 years away.

When do we change and why? I'd like to take a lesson from the kids and spend more time living in the present, savoring a moment, than keep running in the rat race. It won't be easy, but lucky me has got two fantastic kids to remind me of the benefits.

special delivery

2009-11-12T22:57:00.003-05:00

This morning I woke up with my fourth headache in five days. I threw on my workout clothes, got the kids breakfast and rushed us out the door to make a 9:00 class at the gym. Next we hustled back home so I could check e-mail, take care of a job, shower, prepare for a parent-teacher conference with Joy's teacher, and pack up the laptop for Tony's 1:00 meeting.

Hurry up, we're gonna be late. Why are your socks off? You're hungry?

As I tucked fruit snacks and the car keys in my pockets, grabbed my work bag and swung the 50 lb. laptop backpack over my shoulder, the doorbell rang.

Oh man, we're gonna be late.

I drop the bags so I can open the door as the UPS truck rolls out of sight.

A single box is addressed to me. It's not the usual shipments of printed business cards or brochures. It's not for K Art at all. It's for me, and that can only mean the little elves at FAO Schwarz are the fastest Muppet makers ever.

Oh well, we're gonna be late. Might as well open the box.

There is a smile inside the box and on my face, and it's spreading to Cole and Joy. No one cares about the fruit snacks or the meeting or anything for at least a few minutes.

Then we pack her back up and go to our conference (which was great), have a treat for lunch, and while I'm working at the office, we play. A friend stops by to be greeted by Cole and our Muppet who he has named Lina. A client comes over to discuss a print job gone awry and can't help but smile when Lina (and the kids) crash our meeting.

There's been so much seriousness going on lately, and one special delivery helped us all play a little more today.

mind mapping

2009-11-11T23:05:00.002-05:00

My head is a jumble of ideas. I try to write things down right away, but if I lose the scrap of paper, it's not that helpful.

I have a wipeboard at work that I use to keep track of meetings and deadlines for a week at a time, and a notebook for tracking time spent on jobs. I've got my grocery list on the fridge, and the whole family's schedule on my iPod.

What I don't have is a place to just jot and organize ideas, and when I've tried to commit them to paper I've ended up frustrated. I want one huge sheet so I can see everything at once, and see it clearly and organized too. I want to commit stuff to paper so I don't forget things, but also as a way of creating a plan to actually do things instead of just thinking about them.

I'm trying out something called MindMeister.com, and so far I really like it. It's a free mindmapping tool which is really just a buzzword for a diagram, but "hey free flowcharts" doesn't make for compelling advertising. Basically, it lets you type stuff into boxes and then rearrange and link them together. The rearranging part is what makes this a great tool because it means after I've jotted everything down, I can start to make some sense of it.

Right now I've got a map going as I try to figure out my new web site and the 2 new sites that are related to it. I've got another one started called "stuff I wanna do" which is helping me to "unjumble."

Why Not What Not

2009-11-10T21:46:00.003-05:00

To celebrate Sesame Street's 40th Anniversary, I finally ordered my Muppet What Not last night. It was an indulgence that began last Christmas when I first ordered the What Not kit, but my purchase was delayed when FAO Schwarz was bought out by Toys R Us. Suddenly their web site was down and there was no way to redeem my kit. I was getting nervous about the whole thing when I learned that the FAO site was back up and taking orders just in time for the holiday season.

I ordered a kit for Tony too, and he also designed his Muppet. Our Muppets look like us, and Tony wanted to order his without hair, but the web site wouldn't allow it. As a compromise, he chose a short black pompadour instead.

I received an order confirmation last night, but this morning I found another e-mail in my inbox. I had to let Tony know that his hair is on backorder. Meanwhile mine just shipped! Photos will follow.

knit wit

2009-11-09T23:14:00.003-05:00

No painting this weekend, but I did finish knitting a blanket that has been on my needles for over 2 years. I may have finished it a little sooner if I hadn't gotten the mother of all tangles in the skein of yarn, but when it takes you years to finish a project what's a few weeks.

Now I get to decide what to make next. I have plenty of yarn stashed away, and lots of patterns and books too. I'm thinking something small, but a little more challenging, and maybe even something I keep for myself.

I pity the fool that forgets snack

2009-11-08T21:48:00.000-05:00

Now that Joy is in preschool, I have to be mindful of 2 snack calendars. For those of you without little ones, it means each month you get a new calendar listing the schedule for class, like field trips, and days off, and who brings snack each day.

I thought Cole would no longer have a snack schedule since he is in all day kindergarten, but his teacher prefers to still have snack because she says the kids focus better when their bellies are full. She's a fantastic teacher, so I don't doubt her logic at all. After a couple months of school, I can completely understand the need for snacks. Cole rarely eats his whole lunch because he is so excited to have a chance to sit with his friends in the lunchroom, plus he's a super slow eater. I'm sure he's not the only one.

We had a third schedule floating around for snack for Cole's soccer team, but that's only once a season and we just wrapped up for the fall.

Sometimes the snack calendars align in a panic of baked goods and washed fruit, and I'll admit I'm always nervous that I'll forget something one of these days. I sync snack days to iCal and my iPod, and I keep muffin mix on hand just in case.

I've been relieved to be back down to 2 calendars or so I thought. Tony came home from his tennis league last week and announced it's his turn to bring food for the next round of games. So instead of a couple dozen muffins for kids, I'm cooking a vat of chili and cornbread, and I bought beer for the first time in ages. Still got proofed, but I think they check everyone these days...even moms with snack calendars.

Mommy Mediator

2009-11-07T22:01:00.005-05:00

I spent the morning teaching pastels and watercolors to 5-7 year olds, and the rest of the day negotiating with a 3, 6, and 35 year old.

I've been blessed with the most patience of anyone in the household, so I am Mommy Mediator. Generally, I don't mind this role, but sometimes I wish they would work things out on their own. It wears me down to be constantly settling disputes, especially when it's the same ones over and over again.

Bath time is one of our "regulars." Tony gives the kids their bath, but they always fight about who comes out of the tub first, and then Joy will start calling for me to dry her off. Cole joined the chorus of "Mommy" the other night and was so persistent Tony just gave up.

Today's fights were over meals, naps, tennis, Wii, and of course bath time.

Tonight I chose to stay out of it, and either they have all collapsed from exhaustion or they are actually getting along.

Well, I'm being paged. Off I go!

weekEND

2009-11-06T21:05:00.009-05:00

It's been a weird week, and I am SO glad the weekend is here. It ended with the kids overtired and cranky, Tony maxed out on daddy time, and myself defeated by what should have been a simple task. I hope a good night's sleep gets the weekend off to a better start.

I'm teaching tomorrow, and then I'm hoping to do some painting. I've got a portrait of Cole on the easel smirking at me every time I walk in the studio.

split shift

2009-11-05T23:02:00.002-05:00

Today I noticed something. I got the kids down for a nap and fell into a deep sleep myself. I woke up suddenly when the phone rang, and in the quiet that followed I could hear and feel my heart pounding. I went from completely calm and resting to full-on stress panic mode in seconds. All because I had fallen asleep when I meant to be working.

My primary source of stress comes from self-imposed guilt because I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing at any given moment. When I'm working from home, I feel like I should be devoting my attention to the kids, and when I'm with the kids, I'm worried that I'm going to get caught slacking off by a client or deadline. I felt this way a lot this week as I've tried to split my time, and at naptime it startled me.

Cole's been home from school because of a fever which has been replaced with fatigue and a nagging cough. Tony stayed home with him for 2 days while I met deadlines, and I was home today. I really didn't want to have the TV on, and my intention had been to help him catch up with his school work...after I checked e-mail, and sent out one file, and took care of some changes, and drafted some e-mails, and finished a newsletter. Then Tony brought Joy home from preschool in tears, and that settled it...One hysterical kid plus one sick, lonely kid trumps all deadlines.

I think since moving into the office space earlier this year, I've developed a mental distinction between home and work that I really needed. But having that distinction does make it harder to work from home without feeling like one of those old Warner Bros. cartoons with the devil and the angel on my shoulders...but I've got a kid that just wants my attention on one and a client that requires my attention on the other.

I remember feeling like this for the first time when Cole was just a few months old. I had a deadline come up at the end of the day, and Cole was hungry at the same time. He was crying as I was frantically working, and in the end we both collapsed together. Deadline met, baby fed, and one stressed out me. I was close to tears myself at the time.

Being a mom is tough but rewarding. Being self-employed is tough but rewarding. Being both can sometimes be impossible, but ultimately, I wouldn't have it any other way.

NaBloPoMo

2009-11-04T20:08:00.002-05:00

Some of you might be wondering why is she posting so many notes to her facebook page this week? It's not that I have more on my mind than usual or that I feel a need to bombard the internet. It's NaBloPoMo!

For non-bloggers, that translates to National Blog Posting Month, and it's a totally made-up but fun tradition. I've never participated before, and I thought this might be a great way to set aside some time for myself.

I usually write my posts at night as the kids are winding down. It's time I would usually be at my computer checking e-mail or reading blogs, but now I'm writing again instead.

So all my notes are really posts to my blog that automatically feed to my facebook page. Please don't feel obliged to read them all, but I do appreciate the feedback.

This is day 4, and I'm really liking this. If I can keep going for the whole month, I will have posted more in the 30 days than I have in the last 3 years!

The Bishop's Boys

2009-11-02T22:00:00.003-05:00

Next comes love, then comes marriage, then came the babies...well let's say there hasn't been much reading beyond board books in a while. I've been reading again more over the last year or so, and while it takes me longer (a lot longer) to finish, the time spent reading is the next best thing to a vacation. Sounds sad? It's not if it's a really good book and it's at least attainable on nearly a daily basis.

I read a lot of fiction, but I did fit in some non-fiction too. I finally read Fast Food Nation which has been on my list ever since I realized there was a whole chapter devoted to Greeley, Colorado. It is where I visited a good friend during her grad school years, and it is the foulest smelling place on earth. Wanna know more? No. Trust me you really don't, unless you're trying to go vegan. Really? You still want to know. Okay, I'll save that for another post.

Right now, I'm reading The Bishop's Boys which is a biography about the Wright Brothers. I picked it up in the gift shop at the Wright Brothers National Park in the Outer Banks this summer. I know nothing at all about airplanes or the Wright brothers, but the park and museum were really interesting. The visit left me wanting to know what on earth possessed these two brothers to try to build an airplane before there was even a name for such a thing.

The Wright brothers did this with their own resources. No grant money. No corporate sponsors. No research department. I found their pursuit even more fascinating than the end results. Oh and the fact that two brothers could work on something so intently together...equally fascinating, given my relationship (or lack of) with my sister. Again, that's a whole 'nother post.

The most interesting part of the book so far is the insight that their knowledge of bicycles played such a significant role in their success. This was highlighted at the museum as well, but I had misunderstood the reference. I thought it had to do with mechanical knowledge, and it really had to do with how balance is required to ride a bicycle.

They were not the only people attempting to develop a method for human flight, but they had the unique understanding of balance which moved their research in a different, and ultimately, more successful direction. Other aeronautic enthusiasts were building gliders that did not allow for shifts in balance. They thought it would result in a safer glider, and it actually had the opposite effect. It left the pilot with little to no control. Wilbur Wright recognized the need for shifts in balance and applied theory to practice.

So, that's all great trivia and it makes a great story, but that's not the best part. It makes me wonder, what inherent knowledge might each of us have that can be applied to some seemingly unrelated problem? Sometimes, it's not that we don't work hard enough to solve something, it's just that we're missing the right perspective. It's a cool idea. Maybe all the seemingly random stuff that I do has more in common than I have realized.

bookworm

2009-11-02T21:41:00.006-05:00

I used to devour books so quickly they still looked brand-new when I was finished. No dog-eared pages or even a crack or wrinkle in the spine. In college, I gave up reading for pleasure oddly enough because of my concentration in literature. The required reading was plenty to keep up with.

In one class we read 8 Shakespearean plays in 10 weeks, and by the end of the class they were all one jumbled tragic/comedic mess in my mind. In another we read all of Toni Morrison's novels...want to easily identify themes in work? Read them all in a short time frame and they almost become chapters of one larger work. The trick is remembering the differences instead of the common threads.

After college, I got sucked into the Oprah book club by the intriguing paperback cover for She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. It was a vivd bright blue background with a disembodied face, and from a print designer's perspective, a beautiful piece of printing. It's a fantastic book with characters who feel so real you'd recognize them on the street. This is what got me reading again. I've read everything he has written since.

Next comes love, then comes marriage, then came the babies...well let's say there wasn't been much reading beyond board books for a while. I've been reading again more over the last year or so, and while it takes me longer (a lot longer) to finish, the time spent reading is the next best thing to a vacation. Sounds sad? It's not if it's a really good book. I'll take a small escape any day.

Tony doesn't enjoy reading at all. He says it puts him to sleep, so my nerdy book habit is mine alone for now. Cole is beginning to learn to read, and I'm really excited for him. He's an inquisitive kid, and now he can start to look for some answers on his own, and it's fun to watch him put the pieces together. I've got a copy of The Mouse and the Motorcycle waiting for him, and Joy is going to love Ramona and Beezus someday.

back on blog

2009-11-01T22:52:00.002-05:00

I feel like I'm right in the middle of something, as if in a couple years, I'll look back and say "that's when (blank) started," and I'm hoping (blank) is something good.

My business is in transition, and I've signed up with a business coach who specializes in working with creatives, and this week is week 3 of a 6 month group coaching session. The benefits of working within a group vs. 1-1 are cost savings, accountability, and the support of more like-minded people. It's work too, and I've definitely been more focused on the business side of my work than I have been in a long time. I've got some new ideas on how to direct my business, and my hope is that the program helps me in the same way that the fitness program at the gym helped me earlier this year.

Speaking of the gym, I'm still going, though I have off weeks, but I no longer have off months. I'm gearing up to take a Zumba certification class this month which is something I wouldn't have imagined doing a year ago.

I've also reserved 2 new domain names lately--one for my artwork and another for a joint venture with a friend. I hope to get the first one up by the end of the year, and the other before the spring. Curious? I'm not being purposefully vague. I don't have it figured out just yet.

I've been teaching some art classes for kids through the local arts foundation since August, and I'm surprised by how much I enjoy it. It's not that I didn't think I'd like working with kids, it's that I'm really energized by the whole experience. As tired or stressed as I might be before class, it all melts away, and my mind is buzzing afterwards. It's really fun to watch a kid try something for the first time and show them how they can do even more. The classes have been sparsely attended, but I'm hoping the classes beginning in January will reach more of the community.

Will all of this lead in some new direction? Will any of it matter in the grand scheme of things? I get the feeling some of it will, and that has me excited.

miss happy

2009-09-28T22:48:00.003-04:00

I'm Miss Happy, a generally upbeat person with patience to outlast most adults and outwit most kids. I used to be more outgoing and carefree, but at least I've remained pretty happy and optimistic.

But now...

I'm pissed, and I don't know how to handle it. I'm angry and completely paralyzed as to how to express it. Pathetic, but still pissed. I rarely show anger and if I do it's usually a brooding, simmering emotion instead of a flashy dramatic display. I don't do drama, and I don't like to give in to anger.

I have been successfully self-employed for almost 8 years without a hitch. Well the hitch has hit, and it's a doozy. Whereas I felt lucky all of this time for my success, I now feel like the mother of all sh*tstorms has hit this year. But that makes it sound like I had no hand in all of this--just luck and circumstance, and that hardly seems fair. If I want to claim credit for success, the blame is going to fall on my shoulders too.

Today I learned that I had lost my longest standing client a couple months ago without realizing it. I was under the impression that the reduced workload was because of budget cuts, but instead they had moved their work to 2 larger (and definitely more expensive) firms. No one told me. How could I miss something like this?

I'm angry at myself for not realizing what was happening to my business. I'm angry with the client for not being forthcoming after working with them for 10 years. I'm angry at the printer that I've known for 7 years who didn't tell me that I'd lost the work. I'm angry at Tony for not being angry with me. But mostly I'm angry at myself for being so rattled and for not knowing what to do next.

changes

2009-04-20T02:19:00.003-04:00

I lost 2.5 lbs as of last Monday, and I'll weigh in again tonight. The first week I dove right in and took as many classes as I could fit into my schedule. It was partly because I wanted to try things and partly to relieve the stress of some tough projects. Oh, and one more part--to offset the damage of a weekend in NJ for Easter.

This past week, I felt like I had trouble getting to the gym as often as I would have liked, and I also felt hungrier. Tonight, I made myself a PB&J at about 8:30 because I was feeling as if I had skipped dinner, but I hadn't. Not sure what that's all about. It's not the usual snackiness that I can fight off, I was Hungry (not the capital H).

Still trying to move into the new office space. I finished painting Saturday night, and today I reorganized my paper files so I could hopefully have less paper to move.

I'm making a lot of big changes all at once, and while I'm impatient with the pace of my progress at times, I still feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

day one

2009-04-06T22:53:00.002-04:00

Today is the start of the weight management program I signed up for at the gym, and I've got an ambitious plan for the week. I stayed up too late on Sunday night, but tonight I'm hitting the hay with the kids. I'm not bouncing back from the late nights like I used to, and I really don't want to pull those kinds of hours anymore.

Tony promised to take the kids to IHOP tonight which was not the ideal way to start the new program, but it was a realistic challenge to face. I managed to eat healthy and limited the picking I did from the kids' plates. Normally I would've "helped" Joy finish her silver dollars...but I did still eat her scrambled egg :-)

new trend

2009-04-01T23:18:00.000-04:00

I am going to give up staying up all night working and I am going to get some sleep...really I am...starting tomorrow...

one line update

2009-04-01T11:05:00.002-04:00

I am preparing to move my business into its first space outside of my home, cursing my sudden hay fever, getting caught up on work, feeling a little out of it, and looking forward to taking it easy and watching LOST tonight.

office space

2009-03-17T22:02:00.004-04:00

I have an opportunity to pick up office space downtown at a price I can afford, and I'm kind of a wreck about it. Why? I guess it's mostly because office space would mean a change to my routine and that is making me nervous. I don't have a lot of wiggle room in my current schedule so to disrupt it at all is kinda sorta terrifying. It means having to buck up and be presentable and keep some sort of normal business hours and somehow separate the currently completely intertwined work and family life.

I've talked to a few people about it, and their advice has been mixed. Some have been absolutely positive that it's a good move. Others think I've already got the perfect solution of having my whole life under one roof. I understand both sides, and while I think an office will be a good thing, I'm still struggling with it.

I have worked from home for 7 years, and I've worked in a basement office for the last 3 and a half. I've worked from home with kids for 5 years, and I've shared the office with Tony for 3. That's a lot of togetherness without sunlight, but all in all it's been a great experience. It's gotten more complicated over the years, but somehow we always get it all done.

PROS: More professional meeting and working space; windows(!); dedicated work hours; separating work and family life; could bring on an intern; close to post office, FedEx drop and the kids' school

CONS: Rent and utilities; juggling a new schedule/figuring out how to keep the kids happy; our biggest clients have never cared where we work; still have to do some work from home; it's not something I HAVE to do (just would like to...I think)

inspiration with a lack of concentration

2009-01-06T23:08:00.003-05:00

I've got a million ideas and restored energy, and now I don't know what to do. I guess I've got a temporary (I hope) case of ADD.

I love that the new year and the rest I get during the holidays gives me a boost of optimism. However, this year the uncertainty of the economy and larger national issues that I usually don't spend much time contemplating are looming large and casting a big dark cloud on my usually sunny disposition. Maybe it's this uncertainty that's affecting my focus.

Today was the second real workday of the year, and I don't feel like I've gotten anything accomplished. By 5 p.m. I was completely frustrated so I took a break and dropped in on a meeting of the local writers' group. The Pen-to-Paper group is a branch of the arts foundation to which I belong, but this was the first time I joined them for a meeting.

Now I'm far from a writer, and I wear too many hats already, hats which at the moment are toppling off my head. But I am an avid reader, and I do write for fun in my spare time (big laugh).

The meeting was great, the membership was varied in their interests, and I felt comfortable and welcome right away. It gave me the itch to sit down tonight and post here as I try to regain focus.

For me, my many hats are a necessity. Each one has its own benefit, and often they complement each other. I am more excited about design when I've had a break to paint. Bookkeeping helps me to appreciate the fun parts of my job while making me more responsible with finances. Reading makes me want to write. Cooking encourages me want to reach out to friends and be more social. Making stuff and being crafty is a part of the way I teach my kids and revisit old family memories. Playtime with the kids forces me to be present in the moment and let the to-do list go for even a few minutes...although Cole's getting really good at folding towels.

Which leads me to combining hats...
I like the hat metaphor because I do feel a tangible shift when I move from one activity to another, but sometimes it makes me feel like my life is compartmentalized and less whole. Maybe I just have too many small hats and I need to choose a couple larger ones. What if instead of being a graphic designer and a pastel artist I could just be an artist? What if instead of a gardener and housekeeper, I was just a homeowner? How about instead of a self-employed graphic designer who does her own bookkeeping, I could be a business owner? Does it really matter? Well yes I think it does. It would mean recognizing the bigger picture and seeing some of what I do as natural extensions instead of yet another separate enterprise.

Multi-tasking is a word I both love and loathe. Folding laundry while watching the kids is fine, but when I try to catch up on an industry podcast while doing the invoicing and answering e-mail and then the phone rings...my brain cries for mercy. I have many resolutions this year, but I think a good one would be to only wear one hat a time...even if it's a big one.

artsy fartsy

2008-10-27T23:58:00.004-04:00

I've finished 2 pastel drawings in the past year which is more art than I've done in about 10 years. It's progress. Painfully slow progress, but I'll take it!

To help me build momentum, I've signed up for classes with a Diane Velasco, a local artist who is accomplished in pastel and oil. We started last week with Diane completing a pastel painting and an oil painting of a still life during the course of the 3 hour class, including interruptions from her 2 young children. This is without a doubt the right environment for me to be inspired!

This week I'll have to get started which is a bit nerve-wracking and a whole lot of exciting at the same time.

Following up Friday's class, I spent Saturday at a color pencil workshop for the local arts foundation. A member of my Monday night arts group had volunteered to teach the class and while I started out going to show support, it was a good exercise for me too. However, I picked an overly detailed flower for my subject matter and three hours and a hand cramp later, it's only half-finished.

I'm determined to reorganize the downstairs playroom to carve out a corner for myself or at least limit the space to art stuff for all of us. A no Lego/train/babydoll zone with a big throw rug so we can throw ourselves into making stuff without trying to be tidy about it.

Farm tours

2008-10-05T22:18:00.003-04:00

I grew up in suburban North Jersey. When I was a kid, there was one odd dairy farm sandwiched between railroad tracks and corporate offices, and I would count how many cows I saw each day during mom's frantic drive to school (and her work). We were always late, but that's another post entirely.

I went to college in upstate NY and during my 6 hour trek to school, I would dread driving past the large dairies and their distinct aroma. I would hold my breath and keep my mouth tightly closed so that I would not smell or worse yet, taste, the horrible smell. Many times, I lobbied for eliminating the speed limit on the thruway in those areas.

So, why on earth would I subject my suburban sensibilities to a farm tour? I guess 3 years of living "in the country" has begun to rub off on me. This is a rural area, but my neighborhood is far from. There's a Target, Lowes, and Walmart less than a mile from my house, and my neighbors are closer than they were in NJ. However, there is a lot of agriculture and agri-tourism is good for the area as the DC daytrippers flock to the country.

Last year, I tested the waters and we went to 1 stop on the Farm Tour which was the model train show at the restored train depot. Cole loved it and has been asking when the trains will come back for a year now.

This year, we made it to 5 stops which of course included the trains. The second stop was an alpaca farm where I bought yarn that was produced there. It's dye-free and beautiful cream and brown colors, and oh so soft. Then we went to a cut-flower farm specializing in unique flowers. I was immediately drawn to rows of orange, purple and lime zinnias, and I brought some to brighten my office. Today, we visited more flowers at an out of the way garden center full of herbs and perennials. They had grapefruit mint! Our last stop was an inn and equestrian center. The kids were excited about the horses until they realized how big they are.

It was a great weekend to spend outside, and I really enjoyed meeting the people at the different stops and seeing their passion for their businesses. The diversity of the farms was impressive and challenged my suburban definition of farming, and not once was my nose offended!

bloom

2008-09-28T20:38:00.004-04:00

Three years ago I planted this little clematis vine at the foot of the tree in the front yard. It shriveled and died in the summer heat and I pulled out what was left of it when I cleaned up the yard in the fall.

Two years ago, surprisingly the vine came back and grew about 6 inches before it once again died. During my fall clean up, I left it alone.

Last year an acquaintance advised me to place a rock at the base of the vine to keep the roots cool. I gave it a try, and it grew a bit more and the vine became stronger and more like wood.

This year, I watched the vine grow up the small shepherd's hook I have for the bird feeder and I was hoping that it might finally flower. It seemed to stop growing by midsummer and it looked more like a spindly weed than something that would be intentionally planted.

My neighbor has the exact same plant surrounding her mailbox. It grew quickly, took over the entire post and covered the mailbox...within a few months.

I was losing faith in my little vine and thought perhaps this fall I should pull it out and buy a larger, more established plant in the spring.

Until the other day when I found this singular, lovely bloom.

My clematis vine is a good analogy for the pace of my life these last few years. It takes me forever to get my personal projects done and although I have bursts of progress, more often than not I'm not doing anything that feels or seems all that productive. The mundane details of the day to day takes up most of my time and although I do a lot, it's usually not as showy as a big beautiful flower.

still trying

2008-09-21T23:35:00.002-04:00

Hi folks. I haven't given up on this web site or even blogging in general. I am still trying however unsuccessfully to have fun with blogging again. I miss posting and I promise to put something other than another lame apology on the site this week!

silent night

2008-06-11T22:25:00.003-04:00

I'm staying up late tonight to catch up on work stuff, which has been a ritual for years now, but it's been a few days since my last work-related late night. We've had strong storms come through the area because it's been a gajillion degrees out, and each storm has knocked out the power for hours at a time. While I won't say I enjoy the blackouts, they have forced me and Tony to get some rest and we've had family sleepovers on the sleeper sofa in the basement.

All the storms are making Cole jumpy and he now has an extensive meteorological vocabulary. He's driving Tony nuts talking about storms all the time, so I've been Cole's weather buddy letting him discuss storms and blackouts as much as he wants...which is a lot.

This weekend we were in the high 90s and I spent it outside building a stone wall in the front yard. Crazy, right? Well, our lovely HOA had given me a deadline for the project which I had started 2 weeks ago, and it was my only free weekend to work on it. So I got up as early as I reasonably could (which isn't very early because it's just not in my nature) and I asked Tony to check on me every half hour to make sure I wasn't collapsed in the rubble and dead grass. 151 stones and 1 blistery sunburn later, I finished the wall Sunday evening. I still need to shake the dirt from the grass I had dug up, haul away the dead grass, and fill in the space with top soil and mulch, but the hardest part of the job is behind me.

My only regret is spraying sunscreen on my back myself on Sunday instead of waking up Tony for some help. I haven't had a sunburn like this since I was a kid. I picked up some Dermaplast today because I'm desperate for relief.

reflective

2008-04-17T22:47:00.003-04:00

I usually skim the announcement section of my college alumni magazine, and that might be all I get a chance to read. The other night while waiting for a large file to transfer, I picked up the latest issue and flipped a few more pages than usual. I'm not sure why but my eyes came to rest on the obituary section and a familiar name surprised me.

Heinz Klinkon was my junior year typography teacher for 2 quarters. I had transferred into his class midyear due to a scheduling conflict, and I immediately felt lost. I thought the feeling was because I had missed some important explanation of the course and expectations. With time, I realized that this explanation had never existed and it was up to me to search out a meaning, ask for help, and to do the work.

Heinz was fair and honest to a fault. He would stare intently at the work on the wall until he would invite you to offer your own critique. If your work was good, the reward was a "Wowah". If you had tried to get by with subpar work, he would matter-of-factly tell you (and the class) that there was more work to be done, and to come back when it was completed. When you've spent all night on a project and you're just relieved to be done, having to go back to it again...well it more than stings. Fair, of course, but that's some tough love.

The discipline of typography is difficult to describe verbally. Carefully crafted pieces sometimes fail, and spontaneous designs may sing. You need to experience the trial and error of design and layout to appreciate type as an art. This was news to me as a student, and I remained lost in Heinz's class for the better part of the year. I had a few successes, but I remember during one project he announced to the class that I had done something "genius" which was followed by "genius for making something so stupid." It knocked the wind out of me, but Heinz laughed loudly and showed that he meant no harm. I even got a decent grade on the project and maybe scored a point in his book for being a good sport.

I don't think Heinz ever said anything unintentionally. His words were carefully chosen, and there were long spans of silence during which you were left to wonder where the conversation would go next. For this reason, his praise carried great weight, and he inspired many of us to work harder than we had in other classes. The theme of the class seemed to be "why just complete a project when you could make something beautiful?"

I was terrified of meeting with Heinz for my private review at the end of the quarter. During my freshman year I had a professor tell me I wasn't suited to be a designer, and now 2 years later I was afraid of how much honesty I could handle. It went better than expected. I left his office feeling reassured and more than a little relieved. He told me I would be okay, to keep working, and to not read too many design magazines.

I wish I could say I knew Heinz Klinkon well on a personal level, but I am honored to say that he was my teacher. When I learned that he had died, I quickly searched for more information online and was delighted to find blog entries from other former students. Heinz taught us many things while in school, and those lessons are still being understood and reinforced as we go about our work. It may take me another 13 years to fully appreciate all of them! And to my dear German professor, I hope that gives you a good hearty laugh!

zinnias

2008-04-15T22:43:00.002-04:00

Here's my first completed pastel piece in over 10 years. My grandmother chose it at the auction!

what's new

2008-03-13T02:48:00.003-04:00

One of these days, I'll update the design for this blog and the beans' blog, but for now at least I'm posting again!

I didn't finish a single knitting project last year, and last month I finished the baby blanket I had started last February. It felt good to complete something, and I've got a new one on the needles now. Hopefully it will take less than a year to finish. I used to be able to do a baby blanket in a month or so.

Tony won our pedometer contest so he is now the proud owner of Guitar Hero. The contest wasn't even close. When I'm at my busiest at work and getting little sleep, I move less than when I have free time and sleep. I also realized that my eating habits and appetite are a wreck when I'm not sleeping. It's definitely obvious what I need to do for my own well-being, but figuring out how to do it is a lot harder.

We're doing the contest again this month and Tony's already in the lead, but I'm not giving up that easily!

I finished my first drawing in almost 10 years in February and it was part of a local art show. It was really exciting to draw again and to participate in a show. There are very talented artists here in little Culpeper, and it was a honor to be included in their company.

I've got the art bug again and I took a one-day workshop on woodcut printing and another one on poured paint. Both were good ways for me to get reacquainted with my artsy side.

I'll share photos soon...but for now I'm off to bed!

start stepping

2008-02-19T03:00:00.003-05:00

Wearing a pedometer every day has opened my eyes to how grossly inactive I am. Tony regularly has at least double the number of step as I do and it's because he's chasing the kids around and I'm usually at my desk. Of course I try to set up my work space for maximum efficiency...which means I rarely need to get up!

I'm realizing now that the plateau I've hit with my weight has little to do with what I'm eating and more to do with the fact that I'm lucky if I get 3,000 steps in a day. The good news is that I met my goal of going to the gym a couple weeks ago, and I cancelled my old membership and signed up at a new, more family-friendly gym. The new gym has free child care with a nice playroom and another mom from Cole's preschool class goes there with her 2 kids that are the same ages as Cole and Joy. We're going to meet there tomorrow with the little ones while the big kids are at preschool.

To prove my point the first time I went and worked out I had over 12,000 steps—which is like a whole work week's worth of steps for me. I went again tonight, and even with a shorter workout I broke the 10,000 mark.

Tony has been kicking my butt with the contest and there's not much time left, so it's going to take a lot of gym time to catch up.

In other news, I've signed up for a one-day workshop at the arts center on woodcuts which should be fun. I enjoyed an etching elective I took in college, but with acid baths and lots of toxic stuff it's not very likely I'll get to do that again. Woodcuts with the exception of sharp tools will be a lot safer! I'm excited to try to get back to artsy fartsy stuff.

Goal for this week: get a haircut

2008-01-28T02:35:00.000-05:00

I did fantastic with my diet this week...until I went back to NJ for the weekend. It's completely my own fault because I didn't pack the shake mix in my mad dash to get all of us out the door. Packing is no easy task when you have to remember pull-ups, diapers, inhalers, and 2 kinds of toothpaste...and that doesn't include anything for me! And then there's the work stuff to...laptop and a copy of all my active jobs.

Oh well, I'll get back to the routine tomorrow, and to keep things interesting Tony and I are starting a contest. We have identical pedometers and we're going to keep track of our steps each day. The person with the most steps by the end of February gets to pick our next Wii game. If Tony wins, it's Guitar Hero and if I win it's Dance, Dance Revolution, at least my way we'll get more exercise too!

Goal for this week--go to the gym

mini resolutions

2008-01-21T01:04:00.000-05:00

I write resolutions every year and sometimes I even keep a few, but I've been having better success with mini resolutions. Mini resolutions are a goal I set for myself for the week, like taking my vitamins every day. If I can make my goal for the week, I choose a new mini resolution for the next week, but if I don't take my vitamins every day that week, then I try again the next week. So my goals have been to take my vitamins in the morning, and then take my Metamucil (how's that for sharing!) every night. The catch to all this is that if I stop taking my vitamins again, I have to start that mini resolution all over again.

Anyway, this goofy way of thinking is helping me feel a bit better because at least it feels like progress even if it's not huge life changes! I had been doing this at one point last summer and I made the mistake of telling Tony about it after I had built up about 2 months of momentum. I asked him if there was something he thought I should be doing and he rattled off a long list of things I could be doing better at work and around house and with kids... and well, I was derailed for a bit after that. My trick only works if I focus on one goal at a time!

This week's goal is to stick to my diet. That's a more ambitious one, but internet, I'm counting on you to help hold me to it :-)

R&R

2008-01-13T23:09:00.000-05:00

During the lull between Christmas and New Year's, I did some things I haven't done in a very long time. I slept. I read a book, non-fiction even. I decided to take a vacation, actually 2 vacations. I remembered that I am an optimist. I didn't check my e-mail for an entire day. I considered wearing a dress. I picked up my knitting.

The week felt like a wonderful indulgence when it was really what my life could be like all the time if I change priorities. I have poured myself into my work for the last 2 years, and not as an escape, as a financial necessity. Not that it hasn't served as a crutch at times, but really it is fear of not having enough to pay the bills that keeps me awake at my computer at night.

BUT, I have been missing so much more than sleep. I miss spending time with Tony and the kids. I miss my family in NJ and friends both near and far. I miss singing and dancing and playing and knitting and drawing and making stuff and taking trips and exercising...yes even exercising.

I've realized that when I'm working and stressed I often hold my breath until my chest aches a bit. I'm sure that's not good for me, and I remember how good the deep yoga breathing used to feel when I took classes and how a minute or two of just focused breathing would make my stress melt away.

A friend of mine who is also a designer was told by her eye doctor that she doesn't blink often enough while working. We had a good laugh about it at the time and ways to fix her problem. Set a timer to remind yourself to blink. Blink slowly. Have someone take your picture every few minutes. You're sure to blink! Lots of ways to give her more normal eyes while making herself appear like a nut.

On that note, I'm off to work...

before I conk out

2007-12-10T06:42:00.000-05:00

Another long absence from the blog, another lame excuse.

I do miss writing, and I start entries in my head, but that's as far as I get. When I find a spare moment, I usually use it to work, clean, or sleep. Exciting, huh?

It has been the busiest year ever for me, and while I hate to wish time away, I am glad that the year is coming to a close. I could go for a dose of New Year optimism, and that quiet week between the holidays will be the next best thing to a real vacation. I won't be traveling for Christmas which means less time driving, packing and unpacking, and more time to rest and watch the kids grow.

Hopefully I'll be dropping in here again soon...

sketch

2007-06-20T00:17:00.000-04:00

creative juices

2007-06-10T01:00:00.000-04:00

As you may have suspected from my latest long absence, I've been working a lot and only sleeping a little. There are so many other things I would like to be doing, but my days are filled with obligations that have been squeezing out the time and energy I need to do the fun stuff. Of course, in theory I am my own boss, but I rarely stand up for myself and take advantage of the perks that could come with self employment because I'm drowning in the responsibilities instead. There are times that I wish I had a boss to blame for my mess of a schedule because then I could complain about him/her and not have to admit that it's my own doing.

I am trying to make improvements, and tonight I started a drawing for the first time in over 5 years. This is a very big deal. I used to draw all the time, and now that some much time has passed I was scared to pick up a pencil because I might be embarrassed by how crappy my drawing would turn out. It's a silly hang-up, but it was very real.

There is a local artists' group, and Tony and I joined and recently launched a new web site for them. I have been wanting to attend their monthly meeting for over a year now and I finally went last month. They were finishing up a seminar on digital photography and they were critiquing each other's work. The members vary widely by age, experience and media, but the format of the meeting was comfortable and familiar. It felt like college again, and while I had to leave early to get back to the kids, it was enough to push me to set aside the possibility for embarrassment and resolve to have something to share before the next meeting.

Well, the next meeting is Monday, and I started a portrait of Cole tonight. For reference I'm using photos I shot of him when he turned 2, dressed in Tony's shirt and tie with his signature cowlick sticking up. It's just a pencil drawing at this point, but I managed to sketch it all out without using an eraser, until the very end when I had to re-do the eyes. The eyes are my favorite part of any portrait and if I can get those right, everything else generally falls into place. I was nervous, but I put on some music, Tony watched the kids, and after a while I felt like I had the ability to draw again. It's the most relaxed I've felt in a long time.

before I hit the hay

2007-02-07T01:16:00.000-05:00

I just finished preparing my papers for the accountant for my corporate taxes and I have some energy left, so here I am. It's already February but it feels like the new year just started. January is usually a slow month for work, but it was super busy this year. It's good to have steady work, but I had been looking forward to a lull after the holidays.

My business celebrated our 5 year anniversary with a big party in January. It was a lot of work to pull off, but I think it was worth the effort. We hosted about 55 guests at the local renovated train depot. My mom and grandparents came from NJ and friends from Boston and North Carolina made the trip too. I met 2 clients in person for the first time, and saw some friends from Maryland that I hadn't seen in 4 years. I'll try to post some photos soon. The space was decorated by a client who works with balloons and she did an amazing job.

Tomorrow I have a playdate planned so that I can take a break from work and Cole and Joy can have some fun too. Tony will get to have some quiet time to catch up on his projects, so it should be a good day for everyone. We've been in a rut with me working all the time, Tony with the kids all the time, and Cole cooped up inside all the time...which makes for a cranky household. We're all doing the best we can, but it never seems to be enough.

I joined WeightWatchers 2 weeks ago to help me deal with a rut of a different kind. I've lost 4.8 pounds which is the first time the scale has moved in over a month and a half. I'm still over my pre-pregnancy weight by about 5 pounds, but I'd love to lose a lot more than I'm willing to admit right now. I was on WeightWatchers when I was a sophomore in high school. I even made it to "lifetime member" status which means if I reach that goal weight again I don't have to pay to attend meetings...BUT I don't think it's realistic to weigh the same as I did when I was 15 years old. I haven't set a new goal weight yet, but as long as I'm losing right now, I'm happy. With that said, I haven't been good at all on the diet during my third week, but tomorrow is another day, and another chance to try to be better.

coming up for air

2006-11-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Joy Baby is nearly 2 months old, and my days have all been running together. It's hard to believe Thanksgiving is next week, and I'm sure Christmas will sneak up on me too, if I don't make an effort to create a better schedule for myself and the household. I want to enjoy this time and not just meet deadlines and count feedings.

I had my 6 week check-up last week, so I'm cleared to start exercising which I'm excited about. Tony and I joined the local gym/racquet club, and if I could just start out going once a week I'm sure it would help me. I've dropped 27 lbs so far, but I still have plenty more to lose. I'd love to get below my pre-pregnancy weight, but I know that will take some time and maybe more effort than I have to give right now.

Next week I hope to catch up with old friends, celebrate Mema's 70th birthday, and take a break from work. I'm looking forward to some time spent "off the clock."

5 weird things about me

2006-09-13T18:25:00.000-04:00

Tina tagged me over on the bean blog, but I thought I would respond here instead. She has expanded the list to include kids and pets which is nice but I think I've got enough weirdness and candor to complete the task on my own.

1. I AM a brick house. No kidding, at nearly 38 weeks pregnant, people openly gape at me. I don't have trouble with people coming up and touching my belly because they are too scared to even be near me. I am very glad that I work from home and can avoid the general public right now. Today we went out for lunch and a waitress said "WOW" really loud and followed us to our table to gawk at me...she was not our waitress.

2. I can stay up for days or sleep for a week and have the same amount of energy. My energy has been low this whole year from a combination of sleep deprivation and hormones. Some day I hope to feel refreshed again!

3. I am a stay-at-home and working mom. Working while watching Cole puts me in my own oddball category, and opens me up to skepticism by both camps. It's hard, but I'm very grateful for my situation and the opportunity. In a way, I'm greedy, I want to spend as much time as I can with Cole, and I really enjoy being a designer and a small business owner.

4. I will not answer the phone if I know it's not for me. It drives Tony nuts, but I feel awkward picking up the phone when I know the person is only calling to talk to him. He now does the same thing to me.

5. I don't like windchimes or swings. I don't know why but windchimes and swings when they move on their own make me anxious. It's neurotic I know, and I try to hide it because I recognize that it doesn't make sense.

please fence me in

2006-08-28T17:22:00.000-04:00

As of tomorrow, we will have been homeowners for one year. We've done a lot to make the inside of the house cozy with a generous amount of help from "our painter," my mom.* For the outside, we have our glider on the porch and few annuals in the front yard, but not much more. Our front bushes have died 3 times, and after this last time we didn't bother having the builder replace them. They were included in our 1 year home warranty which will expire tomorrow.

We had mixed success with the annuals, but it's been a difficult summer. We had weeks of heavy rain which was followed by drought and abnormally high temperatures...and then came the caterpillars. Our tree was devoured in about 3 days. They ate every leaf but left the center stem, leaving the tree with a strange stringy appearance. Our tree is a young, gangly oak so it doesn't provide much shade as it is, but now of course there is none to be found. All of the flowers planted around its base died over a month ago. It would be a prime spot for cactus.

Now with the temperatures cooling (slightly), we've started to turn our attention to our yard and ways to improve it. Step one was to install a fence in the back which was no small task due to HOA forms...and neighbors who do not answer their doors. I included an explanatory letter with our HOA application, hoping for a quick approval which to my great surprise was granted! Our fence was installed today and already I like the yard better. It looks a little bigger and while it doesn't offer an enormous amount of privacy, it is an improvement.

*As part of our home warranty, the builder sent painters to repair all of the nail pops. Nail pops are when a nail starts to push back out of the drywall and is a common occurence in new homes. To repair them, the painters re-set the nails and spackled over the patches. Then they dried the spackle with heat guns and painted over the patch. When they painted the left huge swatches of white over our colored walls. It looked awful, and the warranty manager apologized, but said replacing the color is not part of the deal. My mom was due to visit a few days later, and Tony told the manager not to worry, that his painter would take care of it....and while Tony may insist he was joking, guess what? Mom painted every patch! Thanks Mom!

summer

2006-08-27T20:18:00.000-04:00

I am a consistently inconsistent blogger. It's not that my interest wanes, nor does my need to journal. I just run out of time and energy for everything I want to do after I finish everything I need to do.

I finished my second book of the year last weekend. I really enjoyed the follow-up to Ellen Foster and felt that it gave the story the closure it deserved. I could imagine there still being another novel, perhaps a memoir of Ellen when she is much older.

I also finished my most ambitious knitting project which is Bean 2's blanket, and I'll share more on that on the bean blog a little later. One post is enough of an accomplishment for tonight!

We took 2 long weekend get-aways this summer, one to NJ in June and the other to WI in July. This is my favorite photo from the entire summer. It was our last couple hours in NJ and we stopped at Pt. Pleasant beach just for lunch. It was also the coolest temperature we enjoyed all summer and there was a gorgeous breeze off the ocean. We didn't stay long, but it was such a nice break. I hope we can schedule a longer vacation at the beach again next summer.

In general, both trips were much harder than I had expected. I haven't felt very good during this entire pregnancy, and the exceptional heat this summer has not helped. Looking back, I wish we had made the trips earlier, but I'm glad we took the time to visit family and take a break from work for a bit.

Work is going well...almost too well at times, but it's a difficult balance. We have a few projects that come in every quarter and a couple monthly jobs, but everything else just comes in erratically. Handling it all requires a lot of organization and patience, and while I'm cool-headed during the day, the stress still takes a toll at times. I think that's why I knit constantly now because it's one of the few things that helps to relax me...because I still feel like I am being productive.

bookworm

2006-07-24T21:16:00.000-04:00

I've slowly begun to read again. I think I'm motivated by the fact that the baby is almost here. It's made me realize how little I have read since Cole was born, and it's also made me worry that it's going to get even harder soon. I guess that the true sources of my sudden urge to read are guilt and fear!

We stopped at Borders after a dinner at Panera's one night and I quickly found myself stuck in the kids' department. Of course that is where Cole feels most comfortable and so it is the easiest area to spend time, but I really wanted to have a chance to scan my forgotten areas of the store for paperbacks and books without pictures. As we left, I quickly scanned the tables and saw one of reprinted "classics." It caught my eye because I recognized The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. I saw her speak on campus while at RIT and I have 2 autographed copies of her books, including Mango Street. It was a pleasant surprise to see the book in the same company with Hemmingway, Austen, Joyce, and Salinger.

Speaking of Salinger, I decided to buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye. I had never read it but had been curious what all the fuss was about. I read it in 2 nights over a weekend, and I probably would've read it in one if I wasn't so exhausted. I really enjoyed it, but I also had that typical tinge of disappointment after finally having read something that had so much hype around it. It's not that I was really disappointed, it's just that nothing can ever live up to that much anticipation. I'm glad I read it and I quickly put it on Tony's nightstand for him. Although he still has Lord of the Rings to finish (3 years later) and the first Harry Potter to get through first. I tease him saying he has to read the Potter books before Cole is old enough to read them.

I also re-read Ellen Foster so that I could refresh myself before reading the follow-up novel, The Life All Around Me, that was recently released. Old Ellen has a lot in common with Holden Caulfield, and I had read that comparison before, but now it made more sense to me. I'm working on the new book now, but I'm not far enough along to offer an opinions. It is nice though to hear Ellen's voice again.

2006-07-10T22:09:00.000-04:00

It's always hard to know where to start when I've had a long break in writing. Not much has changed, except for my waistline which doesn't exist anymore. I'm still working a lot, and I'm still tired, and that sums up my state of mind.

I got my second haircut of the year on Friday, so I guess it's fitting that this post follow the last one. I wasn't happy with the many, many layers I had in my earlier haircut. I was a walk-in appt. at a new place and I got lucky with a nice stylist. She cleaned up the layers, and my hair already looks and feels healthier.

On a completely different subject, I was researching the web sites of house portrait artists for a client when I came across some prints that I HAD to buy. Laura Wilder specializes in period artwork and sells beautiful prints of images of Rochester, landscapes, dogs, and houses through her web site. I have a love for all things retro and particularly this style of print and when I saw her design for Ontario Beach Park, I knew I had to buy it.

Tony and I met at RIT and I lived in Rochester for 6 years. One of our early dates was at the gazebo at Ontario Beach Park. We had brought soup from Nate's for a picnic and there was an elderly couple sitting across from us. They were a fun and friendly couple and the lady had said that our lunch looked good. She said to her husband why don't you buy me lunch anymore? He reached in his pocket and found a little package of 2 saltines and offered them to her. She laughed and yelled at him, calling him "cheap-o" as they walked back to their car. It was funny and sweet, and we both wondered if we'd be that old couple someday. Tony still offers me his crackers when he has soup.